whambam

Left school at around a quarter to 9 tonight. We were practicing for the applicants' talents night tomorrow. I kind of half lost it near the end cos all these suggestions were being pulled out of thin air asking us if we can play this song or that and this or that.... IT'S TOO LATE TO LEARN THESE SONGS OK WE ARE NOT MUSICAL PRODIGIES. The suggestions were enough to cause me small bursts of irritation. Irritation from how we're chasing timing practicing and having to come up with last minute presentation ideas and at the image of the members who are going to be watching us tomorrow. For some reason I feel like they're just going to sit all through out it like a screening process and not even show their enjoyment and appreciation... which is like the only thing we're asking in return as performers. But are we performers here or mere applicants who are still subject to stone faces and lack of reaction from the audience? I just think it's a little effing stupid.

I've been going home late the past nights cos of these practices and missed running for two days. I think this running thing is partly a cause of my small outbursts. Well nevermind that, I'm going to freaking run 8km tomorrow morning or something.

Sorry to all those who witnessed my selfish outbursts :( I hope you guys understand that I've never devoted so much time to something extra-curricular. I'm selfish and lazy like that. I guess I'm undergoing some sort of transformation here seeing as how to I'm experiencing being a part of a small organization (or part of its applicant pool, rather), all these people skills I have to put to use, and how I have to devote time to something that I know aggravates me to a point. I guess I just have to learn how to enjoy it all. I mean, volunteering for Rock Ed and coming home early in the morning is different cos I really enjoy that and I've really warmed up to the people. So does this mean I don't enjoy applying to be a part of an org? Well I really do. And I'm trying my best to devote what I can.

Ohmygod psycho AM strikes again with evening rants. Sorry people, you didn't have to read through all that :)