Chasing Geishas

I need time off. So I'm finally saying goodbye to this blog. I just decided recently.

Of course you wouldn't believe me when I say that. I'm not really leaving, leaving :D I'm flying to Japan tomorrow. Weeeeeee. And then I'm going to stay in Kyoto for 3 nights, 4 days alone. Yay. Let's hope I can communicate with the people well and don't get nabbed in the side streets.

Last night I was thinking about the possible negative effects of walking along small alleyways. And then I realized OUR alleys are not like those of Kyoto. So it'd be generally safe. My dad assured me it's going to be safe. I just have to worry about getting lost. Fun, eh?

I just discovered early this morning while still fixing my itinerary and talking with Patag on YM that geishas still exist in Japan. And yes, Gion district, the most popular nightlife district back in the day is near the other hostel I'm going to stay in. So, I'm going to be chasing geishas around sun down on the 13th of May. Fun, fun, fun. I do hope I get to spot them though.

Well there. I'm gonna be buying everyone lucky charms (love? happiness? passing a test?) as souvenirs in this temple dedicated to love and marriage and fertility shiznat. There's a "rock test" there that couples take. There are 2 large stones on embedded on the ground. They close their eyes and walk towards one stone to another while holding hands. If they do it successfully, without getting injured, they are going to be together forever. I'm gonna take that test. Alone. hahaha

---

I'm too comfortable with my zoom lens. But I guess it'd be my best bet for exploring and stuff. Unless I have all the time and am just taking a stroll I can switch to a 21mm or something.

Withdrawal

I have successfully notified USC of my withdrawal. That sucks so much. Now the fact is more concrete than ever... I'm not going there for college. And I'm not going to Northeastern for undergrad too. It's about time I continue with original plans of applying to Australia, I guess.

My decision doesn't hurt as much now, hehe. I just sigh and feel that there's nothing more I can do and that I just feel relieved now that I have a definite immediate route to take. However, after college is still a tricky road. I actually want to work in research, as long as I get into a complete research laboratory, which I hope exists here in the Philippines. But I don't know how much photography will take over my life. Despite having the big picture of becoming a NatGeo photographer, I don't know if I can actually start out as a photographer in the Philippines.

Oh well, I had DIxi write in my yearbook write up that I swear to break into the photography scene. Let that be a reminder of what I want to do. It'd help make my photography plans feel more definite, I guess. And I'll turn into a messed up habitual drinker if I fail because that yearbook write up will be haunting me. Forever. And ever. And ever.

I'll finalize my Kyoto itinerary and after that I can start fixing the fashion photosession. Wish me luck, everybody.

Maybe you can help by giving me your opinions on what field you think I'd do well. hahaha Not that I'm letting you pick my future (parang reality game show eh no?), but I might get ideas.

Ideas.

Everything, every great thing, starts out as ideas. And so does every massive failure.

Lists: Anilao, Surfing, Japan

Reasons to go to Anilao with Andrew and friends (your friends, his friends, whoever's friends):

1. For 300 a night you get accomodation plus snorkel, board (wind surf - courtesy of Sailboards San Jose, wakeboard courtesy of Andrew), kayak, and jetski use.
2. Everybody's really friendly.
3. It kicks ass to get wiped out and dragged by the jetski if you ever try wakeboarding.
4. Actually, I take that back, it's better to watch Andrew wakeboard because he's really good. (For someone doing it for the past 5 years, he better be :p)
5. It's a nice way to bore yourself wind surfing in the middle of Anilao Bay, trying to find, maintain and regain your balance, trying to lift the sail, and trying to keep yourself afloat while the wind is not that strong yet.
6. It's fun to watch out for sea urchins while swimming.
7. It's fun to snorkel and watch the blue fish and soft corals only to realize you've been stepping on them all along during low tide.
8. Tri-yaking is really fun and a nice way to put your muscles to use.
9. Tri-yaking while dragging somebody (in this case, Andrew) on a ski-bob is more fun.
10. Tri-yaking to rescue Ayisse near open sea is probably even more fun... and tons more tiring.
11. I didn't try jetskiing because I got scared when I hitched a ride on one. Apparently, I'm not very daring when it involves a motorized form of water vehicle, myself, and the possibility of me getting toppled over together with the whole jetski.
12. Liam, the little kid, is adorable.
13. You can literally sleep under the stars.
14. You can literally wake up to an open view of the sea and not to mention, sea breeze.
15. If the catamaran's owner is there, he can let you ride with him. In our case, we got to go to the market to buy a few things with him. And he let us do the steering, which anybody with a brain can do.
16. We didn't see dolphins but they said there are.
17. It's fun to be on the look out for Korean tourists.
18. It's fun to watch the other windsurfers sail really fast while positioned 30 degrees or lower from the water surface and then plunge down when the wind suddenly decides to stop or when they just lose their balance.
19. The water is very, very clear.
20. It hurts like a bitch to have salt water up your nose due to getting dragged by a jetski and suddenly plunging to your pseudo-death into the water repeatedly. But then, it only hurts the first few times.
21. It's crazy fun to blow your nose, trying to get all the salt water after.
22. Finding a blue starfish is a pretty sight. Seeing Liam after that carrying the now-stony starfish, to add to his collection, and showing it to you is adorable. Because he's adorable. And he likes collecting shells. And he's adorable.
23. It's fun to lift yourself up the bamboo raft and funny to watch Ayisse attempt to lift herself up into the same said raft. She did get better at it.
24. You are suddenly converted and call Tuatc (as we oh-so-affectionately call him) by his real nickname, Andrew.

As for the wakeboarding... the first few times I plunged to my death because of balancing problems. After that when I got how to balance my weak, weak, weak, and did I mention weak?, arms failed me so the handle thing slipped. I only got less than 10 tries though before I finally gave up... due to sudden influx of salt water up my nose... and possibly up my brain.

Now, here are the reasons why I think I can surf even though I seem like a failure at wakeboarding:

1. Surfing will not involve my weak arms as much as wakeboarding does.
2. I did okay with balancing in wind surfing (although I wasn't able to fully test it since the wind suddenly decided to die... because Habagat is weak. And that's just a bitch.)
3. I don't have to use a short board immediately, there's always the long board.
4. I am okay when it comes to balancing.
5. You don't plunk down the water as hard as you do when you wakeboard, I'm guessing. And it's not like I'm dreaming of doing pipes, because I'm not.

So the Baler trip will be the moment of truth. Let's see how I will fare when it comes to surfing. Well before we all learn about that, we're gonna see how my trip to Kyoto alone will be. In fact, I'm going to Manila tomorrow to get an International Youth Hostel membership.

[Sales Talking Mode: On]

If you're planning on backpacking in the near future, want cheap accomodation or share the same traveling principle I have which is you only use the hotel to sleep and relax on a bed, then I suggest you get a membership too. The experience you get out of that would be better than staying with relatives: your tour time being limited to when and where they can bring you (most of the time, based on other people's accounts), you cause a bit of a hassle (unless they're totally, ultimately willing... which is rare or plain luck, I'm guessing), etc. With youth hostels you get to meet fellow travelers or build international networks. (But I must admit I like to indulge in 5 star treatment every now and then or a lovely resort and room - only when it's free though, aka older relatives paying for you. So in the event of no moneh to pay for good accomodation, there's always the lovely youth hostel.)

[Sales Talking Mode: Off]

Damn. I need to even out my color.

And I'm leaving next Friday. Gah. Itinerary planning is stressful.

What will I be doing in Japan anyway?

Going to Kyoto alone. Meaning lots of old Japan alongside a bit of new Japan, taking of pictures in old back streets where some people still wear kimonos, going to temples, loads of cultural immersion, etc. I can now foresee that I will indeed be more friendly to strangers. Doesn't mean I'd be trusting, though >:[

Going to the World Expo with my dad.

Checking in a ryokan, w00t, my first time actually. (Natural hot spring (onsen) plus lots and lots of authentic japanese food served by women in kimonos in a traditional tatami room inside a traditional japanese house. Some ryokans are in western-style buildings though.)

Pokemon Themepark maybe? hahaha

Clothes shopping. Yes, AM is going to shop. The only time I really shop is when I'm in Japan. Wait, I said that before already.

Taking tons more photos.

Maybe I'm going to do a Kyoto-Tokyo side by side photo project. I so, so, so hope there are still cherry blossoms in Kyoto even though I fear the cherry blossom blooming has now ended. (It already has in the eastern parts like Tokyo, Chiba, Yokohama, etc.)

And I'm freaking happy because the hostel rooms for males and females in Kyoto are separate now. Now I don't have to worry about that.

Anilao

Who's going to the beach tomorrow?

Me. Wahahaha. And Ayisse, and Tua, and Martin. Too bad I can't dive but I can always snorkel. Not as good though, definitely not.

We're finally, finally going to Anilao. Tua texted Ayisse something like this this morning... "We can go to Anilao. Do you want to go now? As in now." We're last minute people but not that last minute at 8 in the morning. And we live far away from each other. Tua's in Pasay, Ayisse in Cubao, Martin in Alabang, and me in Novaliches. How happy...

So this is what happens when you never give up. Dude, finally, I'm gonna go see, smell, and feel salt water.

Must. Do. Sun salutations. Now. (To celebrate my going to the beach tomorrow hahaha.)

Here is my current desktop, which reflects how I feel at the moment.


Currently Listening: Ms. Hilton by The Penfifteen Club; Surf Wax America by Weezer; Outathaway by The Vines.

Sorry... I love these songs. Meh. :p

More surveys

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
01. a.m.
02. ann
03. marge (by marvin and neil)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
01. i'm good
02. i'm better than you
03. i'm better than you'll ever be
Just kidding, let's repeat that.
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
01. that i can take pictures
02. that i come up with unusual/fun/half-funny jokes
03. my hair...haha

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
01. i'm not personable enough or as much as i want to be all the time
02. i'm indecisive
03. i'm forgetful... very forgetful

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
01. filipino - 3/4 i'm guessing
02. chinese - 1/4, you never knew, huh? hehe
03. uhm... i don't know. martian?

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01. why people kill themselves
02. how other people get to kill other people
03. how low racists are

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
01. people who make you tell things or ask you something 5 times or more
02. telephones that keep on ringing and no one bother to pick it up and you're too far away to do so
03. braggarts

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
01. potential kidnap/hold-up scenarios
02. losing Jasper in the airport
03. rats

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
01. a shirt i wrote on: "I went to Shayol Ghul and all I got was this crappy, crappy shirt. (They don't even have in in black.)
02. shorts
03. shell leis

THREE THINGS ON YOUR DESK:
01. cellphone
02. eye glasses
03. fork

THREE THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST:
01. ewan
02. ok
03. tapos

THREE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
01. ayisse
02. kaye/kla
03. dixi

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
01. do cartwheels
02. commute alone in the middle of the night
03. kill another person

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
01. reading
02. blogging
03. snapping pictures

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
01. free USC tuition :D :((
02. priv transportation to batangas
03. a the vines cd hahaha

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
01. National Geographi Photographer
02. Fashion Photographer
03. Cultural/Biological Anthropology Researcher

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
01. go on an Asia backpacking tour
02. live in Japan as some highly paid photographer
03. etcetera
_________

[ Current Clothes ] pambahay
[ Current Mood ] bored
[ Current Music ] Reptilia - The Strokes
[ Current Taste ] eh?
[ Current Make-up ] none
[ Current Hair ] the usual, the short one
[ Current Annoyance ] not waking up early enough to help out somewhere
[ Current Smell ] bread and cheese? I don't know...
[ Current Favorite Artist(s) ] Ash and The Vines
[ Current Desktop Picture ] XP wallpaper, peace
[ Current Favorite Group(s) ] what groups?
[ Current Book you're reading ] Einstein's Dreams, haven't finished it yet.
[ Current CD in CD Player ] erm, none. does playlist qualify?

California - Phantom Planet
Paint It Black - The Vines
Outathaway - The Vines
Last Night - The Strokes
Soma - The Strokes
Reptilia - The Strokes
Photograph - Weezer
Barely Legal - The Strokes
Orpheus - Ash
Starcrossed - Ash
Pieces - Sum41... I don't even like this song but it's there :p
Ms. Hilton (remix) - The Penfifteen Club
Green Eyes - Interpol
I Wanna Be There - Martina Topley-Bird

[ Current Color Of Toenails ] the normal color?
[ Current Refreshment ] water
[ Current Worry ] Where's my yearbook write up?

( ) snuck out of the house
(x) gotten lost in your city
(x) seen a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had a serious surgery
( ) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger (kids, mostly, prolly freaks them out :D)
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
( ) done drugs
(x) had alcohol
(x) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose (try corn... corn kernels)
( ) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
( ) swore at your parents
( ) been in love
( ) been close to love
( ) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
( ) broken a bone
( ) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) skipped school (woke up early morning and decided i want to go to Bicol with my aunt, grandma, sister, and cousin... so I skipped

school since we were leaving that same morning)
( ) flashed someone
( ) saw a therapist
(x) played spin the bottle
( ) gotten stitches
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(x) bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex (dad :D)
(x) kissed a member of the same sex (i do it to my sister to annoy her)
( ) crashed into a friend's car
(x) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back (er, i hope this includes Brad Pitt and Drew Fuller, I'm serious.)
( ) stolen something from your job
( ) gone on a blind date
( ) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans (I SO hope)
( ) been to Europe (Oh, you bet I'll go there in a few years :D Hope so ^_^)
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) been married
(x) gotten divorced (OMG O_O Just kidding, of course.)
( ) had children
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa (I wish)
( ) driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
( ) gone to college
( ) graduated college
( ) done hard drugs
( ) tried killing yourself
( ) fired a gun
( ) purposely hurt yourself
( ) taken painkillers
( ) love someone or miss someone right now

top five dream jobs: (in order...)
01. NatGeo photographer
02. Milan runway-fashion photographer HAHA
03. marine biologist
04. cinematographer? director?
05. coffee shop-slash-mini-library-slash-art-and-music-place owner

top five films I watch over and over again:
01. Snatch
02. Blue Crush
03. Lost In Translation (but I lost my copy damnit)
04. Missing Gun
05. The Perfect Score

top five songs I can listen to again and again:
01. Reptilia - The Strokes
02. California - Phantom Planet or Outathaway - The Vines
03. Starcrossed - Ash
04. Somewhere Out There - OLP
05. She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

top five books I read from cover to cover:
01. The Catcher In the Rye
02. The Perks of Being A Wallflower
03. Deep Wizardry
04. Wheel of Time book 5
05. Chronicles of Narnia

top five reasons to watch television:
01. Queer Eye
02. Interpol Investigates
03. Top Of The Pops (because you never know when Danny or some other cool act is going to come up haha)
04. Cool commercials like the ones for DHL, the Volvo conversations, Nokia 3230, Touch of Pink, Hugo Boss, some other black and white La

Coste commercial with that dude kicking a pillow or something. Or Full House. haha
05. Renovation/make-over shows (I'm talking about houses, rooms, gardens, cars)

top five places i'd want to visit by the age of thirty-five:
01. Tahiti
02. Kyoto
03. NYC
04. Venice
05. New Orleans

top five famous people I adore:
01. do I even need to mention? Brad Pitt
02. Scarlett Johansson
03. Drew Fuller
04. Uhm... uhm... Dennis Trillo :D or Danny from McFly :D (No, I am NOT a McFly groupie. I just like Danny.)
05. Raya Mananquil

top five obsessions:
01. blogging
02. devart
03. McD's cheesburger meal
04. i'd say books but no, i haven't reached the level of obsession there
05. i'd say Drew Fuller but that time has long passed haha

top five beverages:
01. water
02. coffee
03. banana milkshake
04. strawberry milkshake
05. apple juice

top five favorite past times:
01. reading
02. blogging
03. blog hopping
04. watching tv/movies
05. watching people

These are the 50 ways to know the person's character and understand the person well (I don't believe you... hahaha)

1. Name?
* Ann Margarett L. Cortez

2. How old are you?
* 16

3. Do you have any nicknames?
* ann, a.m., marge but only marvs and neil calls me that

4. When was your first love?
* I'm not sure exactly when but it was when I first learned to read, yeah cheesy eh? haha

5. First kiss?
* n/a

6. How are you feelin now?
* sore

7. How many ex bf/gf do u have?
* none

8. Sour, spicy or sweet?
* all :D

9. What will you do when you're free?
* i don't know

10. Obsession?
* teh internet, blogs, cheeseburger

11. Do you club?
* No (/me laughs at bianca)

12. Who u with?
* what? who? with? what? U?

13. What are your favorite magazines?
* NatGeo (but I don't get it often, will be subscribing though), Time

14. Are you a drinker?
* Habitual? No.

15. How much money will you bring when you are out?
* it varies but usually 200 cos i don't do much anyway

16. Car, Diamond or Money?
* money... so i can buy both car and diamond -_-

17. hu r wid u ryt now??
* Your text language annoys me.

18. Coffeebean or Starbucks?
* Starbucks, no matter how much of a corporate whore they are.

19. Where do you stay?
* home

20. What is your favorite fooD?
* right now, cheeseburger. or bulalo. or carbonara.

21. Crush?
* celebrity crushes. wee. (when i say wee, that's wee not weh.)

22. Chocolate, Sweets or Cake?
* cake

23. Can your ears move?
* no

24. Do you dye your hair?
* at the moment, no

25. What languages do you speak?.
* english, filipino, japanese... the only languages i consider that i speak

26. How many phones in your house?
* the units? 3.

27. How many toilets?
* two

29. Do you swim?
* Yes

30. Do you have pool?
* No

31. What is your favorite sport?
* I don't even have a sport hahaha Would have to be swimming though. But I'm not a swimmer, really.

32. Love techno or classical?
* classical

33. What is your favorite drink?
* apple juice. or water when the apple juice becomes too much.

34. What is your temper?
* it's okay now, i was easily ticked off an hour ago.

35. What kind of person are you?
* an okay person, i'm guessing, kinder than you think hahahaha

36. What would you wear when you go to bed?
* clothes

37. What is the first thing you do when you wakeup?
* check the time

39. Favorite TV shows?
* I don't really know since I don't watch much tv lately.

40. Who do you want to meet?
* Brad Pitt. Oh, wait. I thought the question was who do you want to stalk and eventually harass. hahaha Meet? Would have to be a person

I can make and produce movies with.

41. Read the bible?
* Yes, Revelation, just because it was short and I wanted to see how the "last days" or the "world" is portrayed in it.

42. Where do you like to go?
* coffee shops or bookstores

43. California or New York?
* New York

44. When is your birthday?
* august 31

45. Do you buy branded goods?
* Yes but it doesn't really matter. Just happens.

46. How many hours do you spend talking on thephone?
* varies

47.Will you talk to a stranger?
* Yes. And eventually I can talk and make friends with them for the sake of my backpacking and youth hostel dreams.

48. If a guy/girl would like to get to know you as a friend, would you give your number to theM?
* No. That's just freaky if ever they ask for it the first time we meet.

49. Do you watch romantic movies?
* Yes

50. Who is the last person texted you?
* I don't know.

LAST PERSON...

[ You Touched ] Jasper, my deranged brat of a brother
[ You Touched with Love in Your Heart] My brother? Even though he is now annoying me.
[ You Talked to ] Jasper. Yes, he can now hold quarter-decent conversations.
[ You Hugged ] Jasper.
[ You Instant messaged ] Dixi mi love. Hahaha
[ You Yelled At ] Jasper.
[ You Kissed ] Either my mom or Jasper.

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX...

[ what do you notice first? ] Hair? No. Face. It's not like I stare at their shoes or something.
[ last person you slow danced with ] Apparently, I have selective memory. I don't think anybody else knows who.
[ worst question to ask ] To a deaf person: Are you deaf? No, it's not the worst question. I just think it's funny :))

ARE YOU...

[ Understanding ] Yes. Even more than you think haha
[ Open-minded ] Yes
[ Arrogant ] Sometimes. When the need arises hahaha
[ Insecure ] I no longer get insecure.
[ Interesting ] I'm guessing yes haha
[ Random ] Do you know that Jasper is watching Shaman King at the moment?
[ Friendly ] Sometimes
[ Smart ] Not as smart as I want to be :D
[ Moody ] Not very.
[ Childish ] I don't think so. When I joke maybe?
[ Independent ] Yes.
[ Hard working ] When I choose to be.
[ Organized ] When I choose to be but I have my own brand of being organized haha
[ Healthy ] I just came from a medical check-up, doctor said I am.
[ Emotionally Stable ] Yes. I pride myself in my emotional stability.
[ Shy ] When I'm with nobody I know in a crowd that knows each other, more or less.
[ Difficult ] I don't really think so. I just have a lot of thoughts.
[ Attractive ] I actually hate this particular question and it's evil siblings.
[ Bored Easily ] Sometimes
[ Messy ] Sometimes
[ Thirsty ] Everybody becomes thirsty at one point or another. Right now, I'm not.
[ Responsible ] I try, you know. heh
[ Obsessed ] Brad Pitt, Dennis Trillo, Drew Fuller, Danny Jones, Max Benitz, Giovanni Ribisi, Japan, Cheeseburgers (had one for dinner...

again), Blogging. No, I'm not obsessed.
[ Angry ] No. Such a strong word. I can smell a kilometer away.
[ Sad ] Sometimes. Right now, no.
[ Happy ] Somehow
[ Hyper ] Sometimes, though not right now.
[ Trusting ] Sometimes yes, sometimes not.
[ Talkative ] Yes O_O

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...

[ Kill ] Nobody, really.
[ Slap ] Can't be arsed. I'll just rant haha
[ Get Really Wasted With ] I wouldn't want to get really wasted. In the future maybe, we'll see. haha
[ Get High With ] I wouldn't really want to get high. Natural high :D
[ Look Like ] a better version of myself? hahaha still myself.
[ Talk To Offline ] friends, parents, and all the other beautiful people out there heh
[ Talk To Online ] offline friends and online friends

[ In The Morning I Am ] ...dunno
[ All I Need Is ] coffee, money, and people who appreciate me. Yay.
[ Love Is ] a many splendored thing. hahaha
[ I'm Afraid of ] failing miserably.
[ I Dream About ] contributing something big or making a difference.


HAVE YOU EVER...

[ Pictured your crush naked? ] No. Not even people I'm obsessed with.
[ Actually seen ur crush naked ] No. Not even people I'm obsessed with. *ahem* Brad Pitt? :))
[ Been in love ] No. Does it mean I lead a sad existence?
[ Cried when someone died ] When Rico Yan died, yes. When my first ever tamagotchi pet died. When Russell Crowe's character in Gladiator

died.
[ Lied ] Yes. Who doesn't?



WHICH IS BETTER...

[ Coke or pepsi ] Coke
[ Flowers or candy ] Flowers are pretty. But they wilt.
[ Tall or short ] I don't know what this exactly mean but I'll take it in terms of Starbucks coffee cup sizes: syrempre Tall.

WHO...

[ makes you laugh the most? ] Marvin, Ayisse, Dixi, Kaye, Bianca, Jerms.
[ makes you smile ] people i love
[ gives you a funny feeling when u see them ] people i love
[ gives you a funny feeling when you smell them ] er...the non-bathing people haha
[ do you have a crush on? ] madami nga.
[ has a crush on you? ] there's none..haha
[ is easiest to talk to ] a lot of people on different topics

DO YOU EVER...

[ sit on the internet all night waiting for someone special to I.M. you? ] No.
[ save aol/aim conversations ] no
[ wish you were a member of the opposite sex ] when I fear rape, yes I wish.
[ cried because of someone saying something to you ] Something what? Yeah, I guess.


HAVE YOU EVER...

[ fallen for your best friend ] no
[ been rejected ] how can br... drew fuller reject me, we don't even know each other.
[ rejected someone ] I'll just laugh: haahaha haahahaha haahaha
[ used someone ] we ask raphael to get us ice cream and other kinds of food. yes, I use people. >:[ Just kidding, not seriously :D
[ been cheated on ] no
[ done something you regret ] I don't know, I let things pass. Regret is only present in things we haven't let go of yet.


WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

[ you talked to on the phone ] tita linda
[you laughed with] none, alone the last time i laughed.

DO YOU/ARE YOU...

[ smoke cigarettes ] no. never. ever. or else my lungs will suddenly stop functioning and I'll die. Just kidding.
[ obsessive ] BRAD PITT. Period. (Naaaaaar, not really.)
[ could u live without the computer? ] For a short period of time as long as I'm preoccupied with other things. (But then there's e-mail and

all... so I guess not.)
[ color ur hair ] When I get too artsy fartsy, random short dull red streaks perhaps.
[ ever get off the damn computer ] Yea
[ habla espanol ] No
[ how many peeps are on ur buddylist? ] Few
[ drink alchohol? ] Yes
[ like watching sunrises or sunset ] Yes
[ what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain? ] emotional... i mean, come on.


NUMBER...

[ of times I have had my heart broken ] None. W00t for me. Be green with envy :p Just kidding.
[ of hearts I have broken ] I don't know haha Have I even broken hearts? (Maybe I'm just an evil, heartless biatch.)
[ of guys I have kissed ] None, of course. (I'm guessing by now relatives don't count)
[ of girls I have kissed ] 1,024,698 ohmygad O_O None, of course. (I'm guessing by now that relatives don't count)
[ of continents I have lived in ] One. Asia forever. hahaha
[ of tight friends ] Hmm... Let me count. 6.
[ of cd's that I own] Don't know. But less than 20. Meh, I'm a poor kid.
[ of scars on my body ] 2. One from trying to fit 3 people in a bicycle, another from a stupid while taking a shower during LEADS.

I KNOW: that Brad Pitt is hot. Okay, I'll cut the whole Brad Pitt-dropping now. I know that Kyoto is awesome.
I WANT: to live as a highly paid photographer in Japan. Yeah, baby.
I HAVE: to fix my UP enrolment shiznat and get my card before I leave this Friday.
I WISH: I had money. Superficial but true. Since I get books with money. I can travel with money.
I HATE: indecisive moments.
I MISS: ...I don't know. I don't miss anything terribly.
I FEAR: getting held up in Kyoto or having my passport stolen.
I HEAR: the TV.
I WONDER: if I will get the hang of surfing and if I'll end up making films like my deceased grandfather.
I REGRET: not doing my best in things I should have.
I LOVE: my famliy and friends -> same here
I ACHE: ...my right shoulder hurts.
I CARE: for my family and friends.
I ALWAYS: imagine things.
I AM NOT: really as heartless as I seem.
I DANCED: with my brother to some cartoon opening song a while ago.
I SING: sometimes.
I CRY: to let go of frustration. Seems useless but it's a huge relief after.
I DO NOT ALWAYS: do my best.
I FIGHT: dunno what but, "I fight," seems a complete sentence already.
I WRITE: things I imagine and turn them into short movies just for the heck of it.
I WIN: a million Kaplunkees in my day dream.. just now that I saw the words "I WIN."
I LOSE: and learn from my mistake and therefore become better, i hope.
I CONFUSE: myself and other people.
I LISTEN: to my guts. I hear gurgles.
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: in front of my computer or stalking Jose in Starbucks SM Fairview... woops, overshare (and lo and behold,

Jose finds this site.... NOOOOOOO. Even if he doesn't know me... NOOOOOO.)
I NEED: money.
I AM HAPPY: I'm seeing my dad in a few days, going to Kyoto alone, and that I took nice pics last weekend (I hope, haven't had the films

developed yet.)

**FAVORiTES**

[19. Ice cream:] peppermint or coffee or that Lapertt's one with macademia nuts and fudge brownies
[20. Color:] muted colors or forest colors
[21. Beverage:] coffee
[22. Number:] I don't know... 3?
[23. Famous person:] Brad Pitt (it's sad how many times his name has appeared in this post) and Scarlett Johansson
[24. Website:] none at the moment but I'm loving I'm A New York Intern at the

moment.
[25. Football team:] Not really a football fan.
[26. Basketball team:] Not a bball fan. But I liked Lakers.
[27. Baseball team:] Not a baseball fan.
[28. Sport overall:] I don't know about sports that I do and I like because they seem non-existent but I love watching Snowboarding, BMX

and In Line Skates X-Games and people surf or people scouring the world's coast lines for good surf.
[29. Food:] wasn't this already saked?
[30. State in the U.S.:] NY or CA
[31. Flower:] Tulips
[32. Subject in school:] Bio
[33. Type of music to listen to:] rock in general
[34. Music artist(s):] tops would have to be OLP, Ash, The Vines, Weezer, Phantom Planet, Suede, Oasis
[35. Weather condition:] dark and cloudy, raining, cloudy but bright day, or in between dark and sunny... you know...

**HAVE YOU EVER'S**

[36. Gone fishing?] no
[37. Went camping/to camp?] yes
[38. Been on a cruise?] no
[39. Watched the movie "Titanic"?] yes
[40. Went caroling at Christmas-time?] no
[41. Snuck out of your house at night?] no
[42. Stolen your best friend's boy/girlfriend?] no
[43. Stolen anything?] yes... other people's mails hahaha
[44. Went skydiving?] not yet haha
[45. Been to ground zero where 9/11 happened?] no
[46. Been to more than 5 states in the U.S.?] no
[47. Voted in a presidential election?] no
[48. Met a really really famous person (if so, who)?] I was in grade school and we saw this action movie star whose name I forgot; we were

going to Australia and we saw Jake Roxas, turned out he was going on the same flight;
[49. Been rock-climbing?] no
[50. Been to a professional sports event (i.e NFL game)?] No. UAAP is not professional.

**DO YOU... (random)**

[51. Own a LIVESTRONG bracelet?] no
[52. Know someone personally/related to someone who is famous?] yes
[53. Know the Muffin Man?] no
[54. Like strawberry-kiwi flavored things?] strwaberry or kiwi but not strawberry-kiwi
[55. Like sarcasm?] when i'm in the mood for it (ie not rushing or entirely serious in a deadly manner)
[56. Pre-judge people?] can't say no, but i don't stick to it, i like to see how people really are
[57. Have a short-attention-span or sometimes think you do?] no
[58. Think you were blonde in your past life or blonde now?] no
[59. Get bored easily?] sometimes
[60. Like surveys?] when i am out of things to do to waste my time
[61. Hate when surveys are over?] i don't know

Paradise is a State of Mind (Short Movie)

This seems long but there are just a lot of spaces. It's actually shorter than you think. Please read it and tell me what you think or how you felt after. Constructive comments and suggestions are very welcome. This is another short movie. (It's the product of unstable beach plans and watching Thirteen.)

(And when you read this, imagine it's coming up on a screen or something. I usually jump from one thing to another because I'm talking about the camera shots at the same time.)

---

Fade enter a shot of a beach. White sand, palm trees, bancas, 2 little local girls playing on shallow waters and a 13 year old sitting on the sand, her back to the camera.

She's alone but happy, still. A blissful smile is on her face. A smile of ethereal quality. But something is not complete, you can just feel it.

A turtle makes its way to shore from the shallow waters.

You can hear the waves rush by, you can feel the sunshine's warmth just by looking at it. The motor of a banca can be heard in the distance. It grows louder, and louder.

The girl stands up, suddenly complete as if she found the missing part of herself in the sounds of a motorized banca. A man wearing a lose polo untucked from white canvas pants. But you don't see his face, only from the shoulders down.

And then he takes the hand of a woman stepping off the boat, so as to help her get down. The woman is in a pretty tie dyed sundress. They walk alongside each other toward's the girl. You only see from the lower part of their faces and the rest down. And then, with the couple's backs to the camera, the girl hugs the both of them.

A seagull is soaring up in the sky and then parrot joins it. And they fly to the setting sun. The setting sun is golden and beautiful. Beautiful.

Fade out scene.

A lady is on the phone, waiting for someone to pick up the other line. She looks somewhat like the 13 year old girl you'd think they're sisters. She's not smiling but not frowning either.

"Yes, good afternoon, si *insert generic female name here*?"

Cut to a close up of a doorknob on a white door. It twists and the door opens.

Let's call the person who opened the door Person.

From Person's point of view you see a girl lying down on a bed but you couldn't see her face. The rest of the room is white, just like the door. There's something clinical about the room.

"*insert generic name here*, phonecall, si ate mo." The person says. Her voice is warm and kind.

Cut to a low angle (same level as the bed) shot. You see the girl but her face is not included in the shot. She rises from the bed. Now you see her sitting on it from the same angle.

Cut to her hand making its way towards the telephone. She takes hold of the receiver and the camera follows her hand on the receiver towards her ears.

Finally, you see her face. It's the same girl from the first scene.

"Hi ate, kelan ba talaga ako aalis dito?"

She listens to the voice on the other line but we don't know what her sister is saying.

"Wala naman akong problema diba? Bakit kailangan kong tumira dito? Hindi naman ako Uto-uto eh, puro baliw nandito."

She listens to the voice on the other line but we don't know what her sister is saying still.

And then she looks down to the night table where the telephone is.

Cut to a closeup of a black and white photograph of a couple. A standard picture from the family archives.

Cut to a close up of the girl speaking again.

"Si daddy at mommy, bumalik na ba?"

Cut to a semi-close up (shoulder up) of her sister. Her expression suddenly turns ashen and she bows down her head. She blinks and takes in another breath, not deep, not shallow... just normal.

"Hindi pa eh. Tatawag nalang yun kung pauwi na sila."

Cut to a face of the 13 year old girl. She smiles a bit, just a bit. But it's still of the same ethereal quality.

"Sige, sabihan mo rin ako agad ah? Tapos uuwi narin ako, pwede? Naku ate, baka mabaliw din ako dito."

She listens to her older sister.

"Okay, bye-bye. Kelan nga pala tayo pupunta sa beach?"

She listens to her older sister.

"Okay, bye bye. Thank you tinawagan mo ko. I love you, bye bye."

It cuts to a semi-close up of her (from bed level, up). You hear the phone click and then the camera cuts to the telephone. It pans to the left, where there's a framed newspaper clipping.

CAR CAUGHT BETWEEN A BUS AND A TRUCK.

Below the headline is a picture of a couple. A standard picture from the family archives.

After 5 seconds the girl's hand appears, putting down a post card on the night table. There are healing scars and raw bite marks on her wrist and along the inner portion of the rest of her lower arm. The post card, by the way, is a postcard of a beautiful white sand beach with palm trees and bancas.

Fade in a shot of the beach.

The setting sun is golden and beautiful. Beautiful beyond words. And the beach is empty except for the white sand, palm trees, and bancas.

Fade to black.

"Stolen" from Patag

X" the movies you've seen and ADD one at the
bottom.
( )Napoleon Dynamite
( )Saw
( )White Noise
(x)White Oleander
(x)Anger Management
(x)50 First Dates
(x)Jason
( )Scream
( )Scream 2
( )Scream 3
( )Scary Movie
( )Scary Movie 2
( )Scary Movie 3
(x)American Pie
( )American Pie 2
( )American Wedding
(x)Harry Potter
(x)Harry Potter 2
(x)Harry Potter 3
(x) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x)The Wedding Singer
( )Little Black Book
(x) The Village
( )Donnie Darko
(x)Lilo & Stitch
(x)Finding Nemo
( )Finding Neverland
(x)13 Ghosts
(x)Signs
(x)The Grinch
( )Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x)White Chicks
( )Butterfly Effect
( )Thirteen going on 30
( ) I Robot
(x)Dodge ball
(x)Universal Soldier
(x)A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( )Along Came A Spider
(x) Deep impact
( )KingPin
(x)Never Been Kissed
(x)Meet The Parents
( )Meet The Fockers
( )Eight Crazy Nights
( )A Cinderella Story
(x)The Terminal
( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( )Passport to Paris
(x)Dumb & Dumber
(x)Dumb & Dumberer
(x)Final Destination
(x)Final Destination 2
( )Halloween
( )The Ring
( )Harold & Kumar (white castle)
(x)Practical Magic
(x)Chicago
(x)Ghost Ship
( )From Hell
(x)Hellboy
( )Secret Window
(x)I Am Sam
( )The Whole Nine Yards
(x)The Day After Tomorrow
(x)Child's Play
( )Bride of Chucky
(x)Ten Things I Hate About You
(x)Just Married
(x)Gothika
( )A Nightmare on Elm Street
( )Sixteen Candles
( ) Bad Boys 2
( )Joy Ride
( )Seven
(x)Oceans Eleven
(x)Oceans Twelve
( )Identity
( )Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) Independence Day
( )Cujo
( )A Bronx Tale
( )Darkness Falls
( )Christine
(x)ET
( )Children of the Corn
( )My boss' daughter
(x)Maid in Manhattan
( )Frailty
( )Best bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x)She's All That
( )Calendar Girls
( )Sideways
(x)Mars Attacks
( )Event Horizon
(x)Ever after
(x)Forrest Gump
( )Big Trouble in Little China
(x)x-men 1
(x)x-men 2
( )Jeepers Creepers
( )Jeepers Creepers 2
( )The Pianist
(x)Catch Me If You Can
(x)The Others
(x)Freaky Friday
(x)Reign of Fire
(x)Cruel Intentions
( )Cruel Intentions 2
( )Cruel Intentions 3
(x)The Hot Chick
( )Swimfan
( )Miracle
( )Old School
( )Ray
( )The Notebook
(x)K-Pax
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( )A Walk to Remember
( )Boogeyman
( )Hitch
( )Back Door Sluts 9
( )The fifth element
(x)Star wars episode I
( )Star wars episode II
( ) Star wars episode III
( )Star wars episode: A new hope
( )Star wars episode: Empire Strikes Back
( )Star wars episode: Return of the Jedi
( )Troop Beverly Hills
( )Swimming with Sharks
(x)The Transporter
( )People under the stairs
( )Blue Velvet
( )Sound of music
(X)Parent Trap
( )THE BURBS
( )SLC Punk
(x)Meet Joe Black
( )Wild girls
( )a clockwork orange
( )The Order
(x)Spiderman
(x)Spiderman 2
( )Amelie
(x)Mean Girls
(x)Shrek
(x)Shrek 2
( )The Incredibles
(x)Collateral
( )The Fast & The Furious
(x)2 Fast 2 Furious
( )Sky captain & world of tomorrow
( )Closer
(x)The sixth sense
(x)Artificial intelligence
(x)Love actually
( )Shutter
( )Ella Enchanted
(x)Princess diaries 1
(x)Princess diaries 2
( ) Spongebob Squarepants Movie
( ) Spanglish
( ) The Pacifier
(x) Ms.Congeniality
(x) Ms.Congeniality 2
( ) First Daughter
( ) Sin City
( ) Shawshank Redemption
( ) The Jacket
( ) 28 Days
( ) Wicker Park
(x) Taxi
( ) Robots
(x) The Phantom of the Opera
( ) The grudge
( ) Windstruck
( ) Alien vs Predator
( ) The Wedding Date
(x) 2 Weeks notice
( ) Virgin Suicides
( ) girl, interrupted
(x) Lost In Translation (of course, you knew I'd put this one)

Deranged teenage druggies and proclamation of Benedict XVI

This summer I did nothing
Sleeping, thinking, hanging around.
Orpheus by Ash

I spent the night at Ayisse's since nobody was with her in her house. Patag came over and left at around 12mn. We watched Thirteen (which was such a deranged movie, by the way), ate dinner, continued watching Thirteen. We were supposed to watch Girl, Interrupted but the vcd won't play at first. So there...

At around 2am Ayisse was still online talking on YM to her dad and we were watching the news since it turned out that the seemingly white smoke at around 11:00pm that night (our time) was actually black. Habemus Papam, the screen said. We were all excited.

And so the balcony windows were opened on TV and minutes more later a cardinal went out to announce who the new pope is. He started speaking in a language we didn't understand so from GMA, we switched to CNN (or some other international news channel). ANd then when he said Ratzinger Ayisse and I screamed. We didn't want him to be Pope. I thought who he enters a pope, leaves as a cardinal? Oh well.

Ratzinger is known for wanting to keep the Church in the middle ages.

Does the Catholic Church need stabilizing with the help of Benedict XVI super theologian, intellectual and extreme conservative powers? Or does this equate to him being an anti-progressive Pope? What do you think?

I pointed out how beautiful the sky was at that time and that the announcement of the 265th pope coincided with sun set. Ayisse thought it was scary.

Currently listening to: Orpheus - Ash; Paint It Black - The Vines; Starcrossed - Ash.

Anybody up for modelling?

I have been looking for a tripod (since ours is apparently broken) for months and months now. And then I mention it to my father last week and then he says, "Isn't there a tripod beside your mom's cabinet."

Oh great. It's been there along with other extra or no-longer-used stuff like a box of hot curlers, a baby bath, etc.

I don't have to buy a new one. Yey. And it's great, we got it from second hand store in Japan for like, half the price of a good tripod. Woot. I have to go on a flea market spree in Japan hahaha. I love the Japanese, they turn in barely used stuff and sell them. Isn't it great?

---

And here is the real subject of this post.

I am looking for females who want to have their pictures taken.

For what?

You see, I'm trying my hand at all kinds of photography. So far, I love street photography but I want to try fashion photography. It'd kinda be hard and wasteful with a film SLR but hey, who cares, it's still going to be fun hehe.

So, this'd benefit us both because I get potential material for a portfolio, if the pictures turn out good you can have them for whatever potential modelling portfolio you want, and we all have fun. But there's no pay involved in this. Just pure fun and experimenting.

So far I've got 4 friends who are willing to model hehehe.

By the way, what is it going to be?

We're not going for the bubbly, teeny bopper gloss kind of pictures. We're doing something posh, pseudo-posh, think Vogue, runway... the works. It'd be in a make-shift studio or an outside location. (Which reminds me, I still have to fish for lights to use and stuff like that.) But I'm still thinking about the outside location because changing clothes and managing would be hard and there'd be people looking and butting in which could be awkward.

This is also much easier to pull off. And as for my movie making plans, it's not going to be until early next year or late this year. That still needs a lot of pre-production work.

IM me people, IM me at amlcortez on your YM. Come on, don't be shy.
(And I'm not an axe murderer, so don't worry.)

Click?

Calamansi, lemon, lime... limewire.

Forgive the title.

~:~

AM finally ventures into the world of File Sharing and downloads Kazaa. However, friends tell her that it's full of spy ware. She stupidly asks a friend, "I waited for these 2 fucking Strokes songs to download but nothing's playing, why???" And then her friend replies, "Because it's a virus. NOOOOO, don't use Kazaa. Use LimeWire or Bear Share."

AM, afraid for her computer's health deletes Kazaa, runs Spyware Doctor and Trend PC-cillin (just to make sure). And then she proceeds to download LimeWire. Kazaa did not survive 24 hours after it's installation.

AM, making up for years of not having any file sharing program downloads a bunch of songs (which are still not finish, by the way).

~:~

Out of the less than 10 songs I've downloaded for the day (because I'm plagued with lack of resources aka lack of a connection faster than dial-up) I have been playing the following songs repeatedly because they're just fucking awesome:

Orpheus By Ash

Outathaway By The Vines

California By Phantom Planet

Reptilia By The Strokes

Sad life, eh?

Who'll beat Japan now?

I just realized how much China is willing to spend... they're hosting both the next Olympics (2008) and World Expo (2010, in Shanghai). I wonder if anybody else is gonna beat the tremendous new technology Japan showcased in this year's expo. I'm thinking nobody can possibly beat this year's expo. Well, we just have to see.

I'm still browsing the Pavillions available but here are a few I'm dang excited about. (Visit http://www-1.expo2005.or.jp/en/whatexpo/index.html for more info by the way :D)

Mitsubishi Pavillion
As quoted:
The world's first “futurecast system”
The outside wall of the pavilion will not be closed up; instead it will take the shape of a louver covered with an “aqua wall” of running water that will provide visitors with a sense of coolness and a comfortable space.
The main attraction will be a theater in which visitors participate. The world's first “futurecast system” will instantly scan the faces of all who enter and convert them into computer graphics that will be displayed on the theater screen.
A powerful space adventure titled “Space Child Adventure” will deliver fun, emotion and surprises to the audience.

~:~:~

The First Experiential Video Space in World Exposition History
Through the use of one of the world's largest floor video screens (roughly 600 m2), visitors will be able to stand on the floor and walk through an experiential video space. Video images will be presented on the walls and overhead as well, so visitors will enjoy being able to freely alter their visual perspective, and the combination of audio will make this a moving experience for the human senses. Each of the 185 days of the Expo will see a different program combining hundreds of scenes of nature and living creatures, the first such undertaking in the history of World Expositions.

~:~:~

Wonder Circus-Electric Power Pavillion
There's an electric car ride that'll take you on a tour of a certain portion of the place. Here's the outline of the eight scenes it'll take you through.

Science and Tech Zone

[1. Kaleidoscope Tunnel]
Visitors pass through a giant kaleidoscope, heading into a new world of light and color.

[2. Galaxy Station]
A mysterious space in which visitors can experience the beauty of the Earth and the limitlessness of space unfolds.

[3. Vault of Heaven Station]
The train exits from the pavilion, and visitors will enjoy a view of the Expo grounds from a height of 15 meters above the ground.

Coexistence with Nature Zone

[4. Coral Station]
Visitors will see the mysterious world of the sea, including a coral reef.

[5. Owl Station]
As visitors pass through the darkness, a world of the sounds of nature and forest creatures unfolds around them.

[6. Four Seasons Station]
Visitors move into the rich, beautiful four seasons of the satoyama, in which it is almost as though the forest itself is breathing.

Human Heart Zone

[7. Festival Station]
Visitors enjoy a world in which the human energy present in traditional festivals throughout Japan is condensed.

[ 8. Impressive Smiles for Tomorrow]
This is an epilogue featuring encounters with the smiles of the visitors themselves.

Aichi World Expo 2005

I'm going to World Expo 2005 in Aichi. Dad told me that last year already, that's the main highlight of my Japan trip, so far. But it's just now that I'm really getting excited about this. Here are a list of some of the events I want to be able to attend. (Aside from the frozen mammoth and large kaleidescope.) There are a bunch of other pavillions and all although I'm still choosing which pavillions to visit. (Reservations are needed, bummer eh?)

In the Evening at Koi Pond
March 25, Friday to September 25, Sunday 20:00 - 20:30 (to be cancelled depending on weather conditions) Koi-Pond
A magical tale will unfold against the background of a pond and a forest as symbols of Japan's natural environment. Consisting of four parts ("Earth," "Life," "Civilization," and "Future") and produced by Robert Wilson, the Evening will be a beguiling dream dramatized with water and light.

185 Performance Circuit
March 25, Friday to September 25, SundayMainly at Global Loop and Global CommonsGarbed in dazzling costumes, the performance team Sol Ban Ban will parade along the Global Loop and entertain visitors with their lively dance and musical instruments. In the Global Commons, street performers from various countries will display fabulous,first-rate stunts.
I wonder if I'll see Buko Man taking off coconut husks with his teeth here.

The Forest Fairy's Ball
Early April to September 25, Sunday 17:00 - 18:00 (excluding periods of special events)EXPO PlazaTatuya Ishii was involved in all aspects of this new composite art, from story to sets. Dance and computer graphics performance with fairies and sprites conveys the unheard scream of nature.

Grand Sumo Tournament in EXPO 2005
April 4, MondayEXPO DomeThe "yokozuna" (grand champions) and all the other wrestlers of the "makuuchi" senior grade will be in the Tournament. Spectators will be able to see the ritual sumo bouts and ring-entrance ceremony, followed by matches with all the excitement of the official ones. The Tournament will be held in conjunction with the pavilion day event at the Mountain of Dreams, the seven-company joint pavilion produced by Chunichi Shimbun.

World Police Band Concert in EXPO 2005 AICHI, JAPAN
April 30, Sunday; May 1, SundayEXPO Dome and othersBesides those from Tokyo, Osaka, and Aichi within Japan, the Concert will include performances by police department bands from the USA, Korea, Singapore, and China. Visitors will also be able to hear two of the world's three most famous uniformed police bands: the Musique des Gardiens de la Paix de Paris and the Banda del Carablnierl.
This has got to be the most interesting among these listed events.

New Cultural Creation Event: Musical Fantasy "HARMONY"
May 1, Sunday to May 8, SundayEXPO HallA co-production between Japan and Canada, “Harmony” will make its exciting world premiere at Aichi Expo 2005. With child doctor Shin and his courageous friends taking action in trying to save lives all over planet earth, the story depicts the horrors of destroying our nature and tells us about the importance of true love and respect – in other words, harmony, amongst all living beings upon this earth. TDC from Quebec will manipulate their special gigantic puppets and with the combination of visual and music, the whole show has been staged into a totally original spectacle full of powerful imagination. 48 children from the audience will also be participating in the show. In addition, please enjoy the wonderful “harmony” created between the audience and stage.
Pick me, pick me, PLEEEEAAASEEEE. Wait, it says children. Bugger.

~:~:~:~

Oh, and there's a Pokemon Themepark in Japan. Frankly, I want to visit it. It's in Nagoya too so we'll probably visit it. Yay. hahahaha Crazy excited here. hahaha I mean, come on, Pokemon was a part of my life. hahaha (I'll stop laughing now.)

Cheeseburger, cheeseburger

I used to sing that song in school with mayching accent to boot. hahaha

I went out a while ago to have my research paper xeroxed and I just had to stop by McD's to get a cheeseburger (I got another meal for Jasper too, my little brother).

I have developed this cheeseburger and coke (the soda, you dookie) lately, and I don't even drink sodas much. Before it used to be a Big Mac addiction, and before that, cheese fries and coke float. The only 3 fast food addictions I've ever had.

Jasper gave me half of his cheeseburger, which was awesome. Yes, I'm already a happy kid.

Now I'm watching My Scene: Jammin' In Jamaica on Cartoon Network. Who knew Barbie My Scene short movies are this cool? hahaha (Well, maybe just because it's set in Jamaica. I didn't like the previous one, the fashion show thing, much.) The Jamaica and beach parts are cool even though the band in this story reminds me of Natural, or some other horrendous pop band, and their dj is out of place in the band. (Plus what sort of lyrics are: Spon-tay-neeyas, spon-tay-neeyas, combustion, combustion *repeat* ???) And they all look like epileptics when the dancing-in-a-club scene comes up.

Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, crispy fried chicken and a pizza hut. (I think it's hut not pie.)

Just Finished Reading The Vigin Suicides

We couldn't imagine the emptiness of a creature who put a razor to her wrists and opened her veins, the emptiness and the calm.
-The Virgin Suicides

This is not as long as the other casual "book reviews" I've made. I just want to say that the book's definitely narrative... which makes it a good movie, I guess. I really want to watch this more than read it (hehehe) but meh, didn't have anything to do so I read it. And here's a bit of what I thought...

I realized how the root of some suicides seem to be easily found - pressure, family problems, wanting out, etc. But for some reason, no matter how much I rack my brain, I can't figure out how the Lisbon sisters came to commit suicide in The Virgin Suicides. And I realized that this is how it is with most suicides - we aren't really sure why the fuck they kill themselves, unless a suicide note is left, in which case there is still some truth to it deeply hidden among many other things or hidden by nothingness.

A quote from the book:

"The essence of the suicides consisted not of sadness or mystery but simple selfishness. The girls took into their own hands decisions better left to God. They became too powerful to live among us, too self-concerned, too visionary, too blind. What lingered after them was not life, which always overcomes natural death, but the most trivial list of mundane facts: a clock ticking on a wall, a room dim at noon, and the outrageousness of a human being thinking only of herself."

10:28

I popped in this CD I had Tua burn for me 2 years ago. It's a pretty good one to listen to late at night if the mood suits you:

4 AM - OLP

Superman's Dead - OLP

Clumsy - OLP

Stealing Babies - OLP

Hash Pipe - Weezer

Secret - Maroon 5

Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5

Starlight - Weezer

Faye is going to Thailand on the 22nd. Bah. I hate you, I want to go there too (mainly because I've never been there and I really do want to explore the underbelly of Thailand... just kidding.)

I'm leaving for Japan on the 23rd. Aside from taking care of my research so that I can finally get cleared, I have nothing else to do but waste my life online.

Tomorrow I will finally, finally load a new film on my camera. I haven't in more than a month already. I keep on saying that.

I am trying to write the new installment for our short movie. I figured out that each installment with start with a black screen and a quote related to the next short to be presented.

The next one is going to involve emptiness, midnight and midnight snacks. Suggestions are welcome.

The interview that I almost forgot about

I finished printing my final research paper this morning. But because I didn't wake up early, I wasn't able to have it binded in UP as originally planned.

So I headed straight to Makati for the internship interview. Let's just say it's a summer internship so I obviously can't fully attend it as an intern because well, I'm going to Japan. I thought it was available for the rest of the year or so but it sounds like it isn't. Oh well, maybe next time.

It was interesting because there happened to be a photoshoot for Candy scheduled that same afternoon. Things were more spontaneous than I thought shoots were. It was interesting, that's all I can say. :D

I guess I can do fashion photography but not exactly commercial, but I'd probably have an artsier flare than usual. I have to test my hypothesis though. Well what are friends for? *Hint hint* (I'm trying to say Dixi, get your ass over here and serve as my model, because honestly, the camera loves you... Remember the grad ball pictures? And Kaye, the camera loves you. And Ayisse, you be my stylist/set manager. And, er, Raphael, you provide all the equipment :p Just kidding. Hahaha)

There are a few other things I learned today.

I'm still not sociable enough. I still have to get rid of my shyness and build up on my PR skills. Hahaha

I can absorb everything given that I'm quiet and have nothing else to do but absorb. Wait, I already knew that. :D

I can now successfully commute along Ayala without using a taxi.

Now that I'm not going on an internship because I chose to go to Japan (street fashion photography in Harajuku, oh man, I'm excited), I don't know my chances in photography here. (Oh and by the way, I'm really more serious about this than you think.) I guess I'm going to continue my street photography. I haven't seen much street photographers come out here in the Philippines. And I wonder when Inquirer's going to start accepting applicants again for their Super section. I can write but... do they need another photographer? That's my question heh. Wait I can have my street/pop culture photo column thingamajig. (You wish. *insert evil snickers*)

So, I won't be doing anything for the next few days... Anyone up for going to the beach?

Shoutout do Dixi: When's the next street photohunting session?

Second installment of my little movie

I can't find my Singles album by Suede so I have to resort to a mixed CD of songs by The Corrs that I got for Kris Kringle 2 years ago.

Would You Be Happier starts playing. I love this song. Why does it seem slower than I remember it to be? I think The Corrs are awesome (because they're Irish... just kidding. Not just that. Hey, Ash are Irish too. Okay, I'll stop with the degrees of association.)

I'm waiting for the right song to strike something within me. (Where's my Suede CD??? Damn it.) Here, Radio's intro seem to do something to squeeze out the creative juices from the dark recesses of my mind. And here we go.

The MRT-McDo Semi-silent Segment
This one is partly done verite since the environment won't be regulated much. Hopefully nobody's going to stare straight at the camera... which is somewhat unprobable given the ususero nature of Filipinos.

1

Morning, as in 6-ish in the morning early.

It's a steady camera shooting at midlevel. Our location is at the MRT North Avenue Station. You can see the platform on the other side. Hopefully there are a few sitting on the benches and so. Little by little some people will be standing on the right portion of the camera, lining up where the yellow arrow points where the train door will be. And then we wait, wait, wait, and wait until the train comes. People flock in. And then some dude comes in running, too bad the train door closes on him. This unfortunate guy is who you should look out for because he, or rather, his life, will be the focus of this short one.

So we wait and wait again for the next train. The guy eyes the people who start positioning themselves around his spot as well. He makes sure he's first through the door of the next train. You know how we sometimes casually or secretly observe the people beside us in the MRT when we're waiting for the next train to arrive? That's kinda how it'll be like.

Sometimes the shots will cut to (a) a perspective from the same angle and place but on the other side of the platform; (b) a close-up of the guy's face; (c) other people being bored or other people anticipating the next train.

And then a few seconds before the train's rushing is heard the camera cuts to it's first position. And so train arrives, guy gets in, you'll see him facing the camera from the inside (either sitting down or standing up).

And then we move to the inside of the MRT. And it's just that. Of course, this is routine for him so imagine how ordinary and pretty boring it is. And some shots of different people inside.

He gets out on his designated station.

A low camera angle of the train station and everybody just walking by, feet shuffling and all. When the character's feet suddenly appears, the shot picks itself up from the ground and then follows him.

2

He goes to work, we show him entering his building. And then we show a bit of what happens inside the office.

After he enters the building, the scene cuts to him seating in hs office chair arranging folders to be used for the day. Cuts to him on the computer. Cuts to him writing stuff. Cuts to him drinking coffee. Cuts to him leaving for lunch, cuts to a couple of other scenes of him doing office work (one of them actually is just staring straight ahead.) All these clips are 4 seconds long or somewhere along that as long as not above 5 seconds.

We just show a little of how it's like in his life.

3

He leaves for work. Goes to McDonald's for dinner (it's past 6 already). And then he makes his order.

What happens in the rest of this thing

We show the same routine. Only in the 1 scenes sometimes he's standing up in the train, sometimes sitting down. Sometimes he makes it in, sometimes not. One of those he let's an old lady sit down. But then the next day he's particularly unlucky, he misses the train 2 times (first he's late, next he goes to the restroom) and so he doesn't let an old lady sit down. He fakes sleep instead.

We're not going to show much of the work scenes next. Maybe we'll show five 4 second clips or so but that's it. The point is that it shows that he hesitates to make himself known in his job, thus his unlucky state in the office. (Sometimes he has this 2-line-exchange convos with his officemates, you know.)

And we show the same McDonald's scene over and over. The same cashier takes his order. One time, he's really very hungry because of a 2 hour overtime or so, he goes in McDonald's but after looking around, he doesn't eat. Why so? I don't want to spoil things hehe. He sees fishballs outside or some other place to eat, he tries that instead.

This whole cycle repeats around four times only (or somewhere along that so as not to make you sleep). It fast forwards in time a bit everytime (but not so much.)

After that four times, quite some unlucky happenings in the office, he gets increasingly frustrated with himself already. (Actually, he's a bit frustrated with himself already if you come to think of it.)

Until he goes to McDonald's. He's a bit early. But he buys a whole meal anyway. And then after half-finishing his meal he goes back to ask for a plastic fork (even though he doesn't need it). And then when he's done he goes back to ask for a spoon (even though he doesn't need it). And then after finishing his fries and the rest of the meal he goes back to buy softdrinks again from Counter A. After taking his order, he double backs and looks at the counter, and then he goes back in line. He falls in line for Counter B, which is a bit long. For a number of seconds Counter A doesn't have any more people in line and then she asks if the guy (who's at the end of counter B) wants to order there. The person in front of the guy looks at him, the guy shakes his head, so that person takes advantage of Counter A.

When our character finally got his turn to order we see the same cashier girl who takes his order every freaking day (imagine if this was on for a whole year already).

Cashier Girl: Good evening sir may I take your order?
Guy: *shakes his head reluctantly*
Cashier Girl: Sir ano pong gusto nila iorder?
Guy: Ikaw...
Cashier Girl: Order niyo po sir?
Guy: Ah, ikaw, ano ba okay?
Cashier Girl: *Suggests whatever meal that she knows by now the guy orders everyday*
Guy: Ah o sige hindi ko pa natatry yun, yun nalang.
Cashier Girl: *processes order*
Guy: *Pays and take the order*

And then after he takes hold of his tray the camera cuts to a shot of him, dead center on the screen, eating his meal while looking straight ahead with his usual so-so, a bit barren, expression.

And then that's the end of it :D

I was thinking the guy goes to ask her out but that kind of thing is not commonplace. It's up to you if you want to keep on thinking that the guy successfully asked the girl out. heh

Polished Plot

So yes, I am taking this short movie seriously. (I'm going to change layouts soon by the way. Woot for that.) But how the hell am i to pull off the end driving scene.

I figured out that this short movie will be a collection of shorter ones. And the last plot I came up with will be the last one in the short series. As of now, I've only thought of one other to include in this one. The latest I've thought of is pretty much going to use natural sounds plus a bit more silence. If there's going to be, let's say, 3 installments, I guess the other one should consist of pure silence? *consults with Dixi*

So, I'm going to start with the one we have now first sans most of the time codes of the songs and post the new one I come up with later. If you already want to read something about the new one it's partly inspired by a journal post I read on deviantArt. Click THIS for the journal post.

---

Not all the kind of shots are described. So you are feel free to imagine. :D

This short music video-esque thing that I hope is heart breaking: A polished version of THe Product Of Pseudo Depression

The scene: A female is sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed, staring at a TV. The TV is playing Smurfs. She's just staring at the TV, on the verge of being on the verge of her tears.

Music: Endlessly by Muse

The entering shot is from one side of the room. You see the whole scene described above. The music enters (I figured out there's no fade or whatever) at the same time that the shot cuts to a semiclose up of her. She is, as mentioned above, on the verge of being on the verge of her tears.

Aside from her, we focus on the different things we find in her room alternately with the TV screen and the girl herself. This is a subtle manifestation of pop culture elements and all that shiznat. And it gives a more personal touch, since we get to know things about the character in such a short span of time. You know how stuff we have in our rooms tells a lot about us, in the event that we choose what to have in our rooms.

And then, the song ends.

Music: None

A semi-close up shot of her (waist up) still sitting on the floor shot from the side. So we see the TV and its blaring blue light on the left side, and te girl sitting on the right side. Right when the song ends, the camera cuts to this kind of shot and it's instant silent. All we here is a stupid commercial in the background.

Music: Apocalypse Please by Muse
And then she goes berserk. (I actually like the fact that Care Bears is still on TV but Apocalypse Please is playing in the background.) There are quick pannings in this one. Care Bears to raging girl to Care Bears to crying eyes to Care Bears to close up of tear stained cheeks to Care Bears to hands clutching something breakable to the TV with Care Bears being smashed by that something breakable (apparently, she threw the thing). That kind of thing. She goes schizo here too. She stares blankly, starts crying, stares blankly, you know the drill.

And then the music suddenly stops at 2:44 (there's a buildup in the music and it suddenly stops) wherein the camera suddenly cuts to a shot coming from the ceiling. So there's an overview of the mess. Silence. (And a few sobs.)

Fade to black.

The scene: It's inside the bar. She's sitting on one of them bar stools. Everybody's dancing, getting high and having a good time.

Music: Blackout By Muse

So the shot is a semi close up again. You can see the bar table, a few glasses, and the people in the background. The character is placed dead center on the screen. But there's space on both sides of the screen, enough to accomodate half of a person on each side.

Blackout is a slow song but the people are wild in the background. So, yeah. The song's just trying to communicate what's inside the character. So there's our main character, wasting her money on drink after drink. But she doesn't do it in a rapid succession of shots or so. She drinks in a pretty normal pace, it's like she drinks with care. But she drinks a lot in that span of 3 minutes. You see some people on her side, ordering drinks, leaving to dance, and all that.

At 3:09 of the song she starts to get up and walk outside the bar. She walks through the middle of the dance floor so she gets bumped and thrown off by wild partay people. And so when she gets out, she sits outside in the gutter and tries to sort her life then and there.

And then the music changes.

Music: Butterflies and Hurricanes

I love how the first line goes: Change / everything you are / and everything you want. And then the scene shifts at 0:49 of the song. She's already driving down the road and there are lights everywhere.

Starting 1:32 she starts resting her head on the wheel, but she still needs to drive, of course. And then it turns out she's going to some guy's apartment. The scene cuts to her climbing a flight of stairs when the song reaches 2:38. It's a fast succession of shots wherein the camera cuts from one thign to another. It's like the intro of The Missing Gun if you've watched that one: Three seconds of her walking, and then it cuts to a close up of her feet, a close up of her hands, cuts to her walking, something like that.

At 3:02 she stops in front of the guy's door and just stands there until 3:19. She's still standing there but she keeps on talking to the door. Of course, we get to hear her litany. At 4:19 the camera focuses on the doorknob turning and jiggling, somebody's about to come out.

There's a bit of laughter that can be heard from the inside of the apartment room. And then at 4:23 it cuts to a camera shot about 10 meters from the girl. It's a sideways shot again, parallel to the wall and the apartment railings, so you see her just standing there. At exactly 4:23 the apartment door opens. So from that angle, the darkness outside and the light spilling out from inside the apartment room is emphasized. And then there's a semi-focus of the guy for about 9 seconds, you can see a small party going on inside the room. And everybody inside's just laughing at each other. He looks a bit confused but then he starts to smirk. And then there's a semi-focus of the girl. Looking very blank. By this time, the song ends and then the camera cuts to a semi-focus (meaning waist-up) shot of them from the side so you see them facing each other, the guy somewhat frozen in mid-act of trying to go out the door, he's still there, standing in an awkward position with his hand on the door knob. There's 4 seconds of silence and the only one breathing heavily is the guy.

And then, after the long litany the girl made while the door was closed she opens her mouth and says just this: Fuck you.

Music: Falling Away With You - Muse, again, of course

And she walks away, and the guy stops smirking and looks even more confused. Falling Away With You stars to play, the guy slowly closes the door (he steps out) at the same time, trying to figure out what the girl just said (even though it's only 2 words hahaha). And then at o:09 the girl turns around and says something (that I kinda stole from Perks of Being A Wallflower): You know what I figured out? I can die for you. But I can never live for you.

And then the focus continues on the guy. You know, he gets confused and discreetly emo. When the song reaches 0:24 the shot is now focused on the girl. She's climbing down the stairs and leaving the apartment. And then at 1:13 the camera cuts to another shot of her driving. City lights are everywhere. And then at 1:25 the camera pans from a shot of the girl to outside the window and the rest of the remaining city lights. At 2:04 the scene cuts to the girl crying but smiling and then she starts laughing quietly. Go figure.

So, that's a whole driving thing. Feel free to imagine what sort of different shots happen. At 2:23 the shot pans towards the window again, the camera sort of "comes out of the car," the camera turns around showing the lights and cars and then the girl's car is shown moving away. 2:34 is focused on the wheels of a car that's driving by. 2:38 is a driver's POV. On one hand of the driver's a stick because he's smoking. As he takes his hand out the window (he rests his hand there with the cigarette) the camera follows it. From here, the shot turns to a woman inside a car who's talking on her cellphone, smiling. And then there's a shot of a woman driving in a car with another man. And then somebody calls her on her cellphone and she signals the guy to keep quiet. Go figure, again.

Next shot's like somebody lying down on top of a car with a camera and everything's just streaming by. At 3:10 the camera turns to the road, at the cars, and one car zooms by fast. And then a but later on it turns to a shot of the girl. Imagine whatever melodramatic as long as by 3:50 the car slows down and at 4:01 she pulls out in a parking lot between 2 other cars.

And then the shot sort of comes from the car's hood at 4:11 so that it shows a bit of her car and the car beside her on the left and then the apartments on the right. And then she walks away, of course the focus is on her. By 4:28 she's already in the distance, climbing a flight of stairs and then a push in happens (it's when for example the foreground is blurred and the background's clear, and then the background suddenly blurs and the foreground clear). So the girl becomes blurred and we finally notice the foreground and a guy shadowed inside the girl's car, watching her. Yes, it's the ex-boyfriend who.

Next one coming up.

Dude, I must be high

Why? Because I finally gave up the US plans.

And you probably won't believe it since I seem so focused on flying away Boston. Sometimes you just can't ignore gut feelings. And I'm getting gut feelings totally different from what I want. So it must be something worth going after.

That was what I always worried about going to Boston. First off there's the financial side. I don't want to spend the first few years after college, my first few million pesos, paying off student loan. I'd rather invest it on another thing... travel the whole of Philippines, travel to other countries during breaks, get a car, make movies. That would be loads better and I'd have loads of fun. I actually wrote about it in an email to my dad last night (I never sent the email by the way since he called anyway).

And then, there's the everything else side. Hahahaha. I'd miss my friends. I'll miss all of Ange's parties. I'll miss all the short movies I can make. I'll miss the rest of the Sara Black internship (in case I get picked, you know, everything's looking good now). I'll miss all the beaches. I'll miss my first surf board. Hahahaha.

That's what my gut feeling has been telling me right from the start. I'll miss a lot. But then again, I might miss a lot not going to Boston too. But who cares, I know I'll have fun with what I'm sure I can do here.

And then I realize 5 years after I could have met Airport Boy in Boston. That's when I take out all the medicine in the medicine cabinet (in case a gun is not available for loading bullets into).

Only too bad I won't be able to go to California because of the fucking Boston plans. I missed California because we thought I'm studying in the US anyway. Hahaha Oh well. Guess what Bianca? I'm gonna come with you to Hawai'i early next year instead ;)

Dude, I feel like the weight of my sister, Yuki, is off my shoulders. HAHA

And I kinda miss the idea of layering clothes even though I admittedly do not want to layer clothes. But I won't be able to wear a coat, and nifty coats, and groovy coats, and nice coats, and tweed skirts, and nice round-toed, flat soled suede boots. But who cares? I'm gonna be making movies here and I might be even able to go to Japan for winter. Or Singapore or somewhere around Asia. Dude. That's a thrill comparable, or even more, than living in Boston alone.

See you all in UP this June ;)

Einstein's Dreams

Where the two times meet, desperation. Where the two times go their separate ways, contentment. For, miraculously, a barrister, a nurse, a baker can make a world in either time, but not in both times. Each time is true, but the truths are not the same.
-Einstein's Dreams

Alan Lightman is able to explain various theories of time with little or no technical jargon or whatsoever. It was also done in articulate manner where in the reader won't get confused and have to read a paragraph more than once. In addition to the manner with which he discusses to them, this must be because of his style when it comes to presenting ideas. He does it by comparing the different ideas and using examples. (Commercial break: I loved the cause-effect example in the 3 May 1905 entry by the way, and the whole chapter itself.)

It's not a very confusing thing to read, given the main topic it discusses.

There is a lot of imagination. If not, he's able to write down in words of the different possibilities and forms time could take.

It's a good read but it's not for everybody. Thus, I cannot guarantee that it's fun to read for everybody.

It also requires more brain cells than reading Gossip Girl (even though you wonder endlessly who the fuck Gossip Girl is) but less than reading A Brief History of Time.

You should probably read it if you've ever contemplated (a) what happens after death; (b) how come time is how it is right now; (c) how they make crab meatsticks without using real crab meat.

If you're feeling philosophical, interested in the theory of relativity, or if you are my 4th year Physics teacher Mr. Coronado, you should probably read it.

I liked how a variation of time was described in the world described in the 24 April 1905 entry. It shows how many of us seem to do things according to will but in truth, mechanical (or digital ;) haha) clocks dictate when we execute what we want to do. At least that's how I see it. I don't exactly want to phrase it as some people being swallowed by clocks (or them swallowing clocks) because as far as I can see, human thought and will is still involved.

Overall, this April 24 entry could be suggesting that we are lacking in spontaneity with time constraints ruling over when we carry out tasks. But is a life being dictated by a clock too bad? It is and is not all at the same time. Moderation is just needed because without it, routines become monotonous and may lose their meaning or change purpose. It does more than just help organize things... it organizes it to the point of sucking out the beauty in what you do. Thus, your appreciation declines. Do you get what I mean?

More generally, April 24 discusses how things have become too quantized, too literal, and less animate. It limits how we think of ourselves and our surroundings, limits what we can do and limits possibility. And it talks about how some people take their biology textbooks too seriously that thought becomes "no more than electrical surges in the brain." This too is consistent with what I mentioned in the previous paragraph: beauty is lost when some things, such as thought or excitement, are reduced to merely functional occurences.

And I love how truth was portrayed in its relativity. So there, let me stop talking about the April 24th entry.

That short analysis of the April 24th entry is somehow a presentation of a part of the book. (Because I believe that you'll get a better grip of the book that way... That's why I give quotes too since I believed that somehow, how the book reads influences how much you want to read it.)

And then, the quotes... I don't know about when you've finished the book but I loved a lot of things written in this book. I cannot quote all of them because it would be too much then. But many things were just described beautifully, or many beautiful things were put into words.

---

Suppose time is a circle, bending back on itself. The world repeats itself, precisely, endlessly.

For the most part, people do not know they will live their lives over. Traders do not know that they will make the same bargain again and again. Politicians do not know that they will shout from the same lectern an infinite number of times in the cycles of time. Parents treasure the first laugh from
their child as if they will not hear it again. Lovers making love the first time undress shyly, show surprise at the supple thigh, the fragile nipple. How would they know that each secret glimpse, each touch, will be repeated again and again and again, exactly as before?

---

A world in which time is absolute is a world of consolation. For while the movements of people are unpredictable, the movement of time is predictable. While people can be doubted, time cannot be
doubted. While people brood, time skips ahead without looking back.

---

Scientists are buffoons, not because they are rational but because the cosmos is irrational. Or perhaps it is not because the cosmos is irrational but because they are rational. Who can say which, in an acausal world?

---

If a person holds no ambitions in this world, he suffers unknowingly. If a person holds ambitions,
he suffers knowingly, but very slowly.

---

(This paragraph is just beautiful.)

Most people have learned how to live in the moment. The argument goes that if the past has uncertain effect on-the present, there is no need to dwell on the past. And if the present has little effect on the future, present actions need not be weighed for their consequence. Rather, each act is an island in time, to be judged on its own. Families comfort a dying uncle not because of a likely inheritance, but because he is loved at that moment. Employees are hired not because of their resumes, but because of their good sense in interviews. Clerks trampled by their bosses fight back at each insult, with no fear for their future. It is a world of impulse. It is a world of sincerity. It is a world in which every word spoken speaks just to that moment, every glance given has only one meaning, each touch has no past or no future, each kiss is a kiss of immediacy.

The product of pseudo-depression (a short movie, yay)

I feel tired even though I'm not doing anything. I feel tired because of thinking, hoping, getting my hopes up, having them pulled down, and sighing. I can't stop time or turn reality into a lie so all I can do now is cry. I just want to cry because right now crying feels good. I am not an emo kid, my friends will tell you so too, but it just feels nice in a weird way... I know. It seems like there's no emotion as well. Somehow, crying has turned into a functional cleansing task. I know. Things are getting weirder with me hehe. I just want to cry and drown my self in glasses of water and watch Lost In Translation. But I forgot my CD in a damned hotel room. Fuck. (And if you are Raphael don't bother emailing or leaving anonymous comments or tags because you asking, and bugging will just ruin things more than help because nothing is really very wrong. Besides I don't need people asking are you alright? Because I am solving things by my own here. I just want to get it out.

---

That bit above was typed last night but I didn't get to post it.

So I talked to my mom and I talked to my dad, plus I ranted to my grandmother. My dad gets irritated because I kept on sobbing. God, maybe Perks Of Being a Wallflower just got to me. haha What with Charlie and his panick attacks. Anyway, my dad thought I wasn't doing anything about it. But the truth was I had it all planned out. But then, I thought, if I'm not going to pursue the US plan then I'm not going to know, ever, what could have happened. It's a huge risk and everybody in the family is willing to take the risk (they love me so much, eh?) I want to be optimistic though. I'll eventually get scholarship there or some other form of financial aid. Although if I don't, it'd suck to go back here to the Philippines :D Oh man, that'd be so funny.

So what have I done since waking up this morning with my eyes smaller than when I got sore eyes?

I listened to a bunch of opening and ending songs from certain animes. I haven't taken any drugs, and will probably not, but now I see why some people like the psychedelic feelings. It's because it's psychedelic. Trying it would be loads different but I like to think having "Mountains A Go Go" on the background while staring at the Battery: Randomization swishy swishy colors in Windows Media Player is a good simulation of it.

After that I realized that the Battery skin think was very much like the ones they project onto screens and large hanging white balls in that certain bar scene in Lost In Translation.

After that, I found out that watching Pingu while listening to Apocalypse Please on earphones is a great combination of things to do. Don't forget to use earphones or it'll be different. (Don't you get that feeling of being in a movie when you walk outside or walk around listening to something through earphones? I get that feeling.)

It's also a great feeling watching Care Bears but not hearing anything because you have your earphones on listening to Stockholme Syndrome while drinking Orange-Mango juice.

---

The Little Movie I Might Eventually Start Making (with Dixi)

I realized that if I'm going to make a movie, and if it's applicable, there should be a whole scene where in the character just sits in front of the TV at night with the lights off, watching Smurf, Care Bear or Pingu reruns. And then Muse songs would be the background music for the whole scene.

At first something very mellow like Endlessly would be playing in the background while Pingu or Smurfs is on TV. The main character's just sitting there with a blank but confused expression. And then when the song ends there'd be a commercial break. No background music there. And the shot would be a semi-close up (waist up) of the girl from the side. She's sitting on the floor and leaning at the end of the bed, facing the TV. And then Apocalypse Please starts playing. There's something that our main character here couldn't take and she just starts to somehow cry and Care Bears is on TV. The song is fade entered into the scene by the way.

And then there'd be a schizo scene where the character would be staring into blank space and then she'd chuckle every 10 seconds or sob later on, all in between those staring-into-blank-space deal (very Sisa, huh?). And what would be playing in the background? Muse's Hysteria. And then the character later decides to go to a bar. Everybody's dancing in the background and getting high and all but she, okay, she's a She now, anyway... everybody's having fun and being like how they are in bars but she's just sitting there, wasting money on drinks and Muse's Blackout would be playing in the background.

Yes, you guessed it. I'm listening to Absolution at the moment. If you notice, Hysteria and Blackout's even mentioned in order of their track arrangement in the album.

Anyway, continuing with my little movie here... The actress should be really good, so that she communicates that lost and confused feeling. At 3:08 of the song Blackout, she starts to get up and walk outside the bar. She walks through the middle of the dance floor so she gets bumped and thrown off by wild partay people. And so when she gets out, she sits outside in the gutter and tries to sort her life then and there. This is when Butterflies and Hurricanes comes playing. I love how the first line goes: Change / everything you are / and everything you want. And then the scene shifts at 0:49 of the song. She's already driving down the road and there are lights everywhere.

Starting 1:32 she starts resting her head on the wheel, but she still needs to drive, of course. And then it turns out she's going to some guy's apartment. (Yeah, I figured out this would be about something as commonplace as being left by somebody). The scene cuts to her climbing a flight of stairs when the song reaches 2:38. It's a stop motion kind of thing but not: Three seconds of her walking, and then it cuts to a close up of her feet, a close up of her hands, cuts to her walking, something like that. At 3:02 she stops in front of the guy's door and just stands there until 3:19. She's still standing there but she keeps on talking to the door. It is not yet directly implied that some dude left her here. At 4:19 the camera focuses on the doorknob turning and jiggling, somebody's about to come out.

There's a bit of laughter that can be heard from the inside of the apartment room. And then at 4:23 it cuts to a camera shot about 10 meters from the girl. It's a sideways shot again, parallel to the wall and the apartment railings, so you see her just standing there. At exactly 4:23 the apartment door opens. So from that angle, the darkness outside and the light spilling out from inside the apartment room is emphasized. And then there's a semi-focus of the guy for about 9 seconds, you can see a small party going on inside the room. And everybody inside's just laughing at each other. He looks a bit confused but then he starts to smirk. And then there's a semi-focus of the girl. Looking very blank. By this time, the song ends and then the camera cuts to a semi-focus (meaning waist-up) shot of them from the side so you see them facing each other, the guy somewhat frozen in mid-act of trying to go out the door, he's still there, standing in an awkward position with his hand on the door knob. There's 4 seconds of silence and the only one breathing heavily is the guy.

And then, after the long litany the girl made while the door was closed she opens her mouth and says just this: Fuck you.

And she walks away, and the guy stops smirking and looks even more confused. Falling Away With You stars to play, the guy slowly closes the door (he steps out) at the same time, trying to figure out what the girl just said (even though it's only 2 words hahaha). And then at o:09 the girl turns around and says something (that I kinda stole from Perks of Being A Wallflower): You know what I figured out? I can die for you. But I can never live for you.

And then the focus continues on the guy. You know, he gets confused and discreetly emo. When the song reaches 0:24 the shot is now focused on the girl. She's climbing down the stairs and leaving the apartment. And then at 1:13 the camera cuts to another shot of her driving. City lights are everywhere. And then at 1:25 the camera pans from a shot of the girl to outside the window and the rest of the remaining city lights. At 2:04 the scene cuts to the girl crying but smiling and then she starts laughing quietly. Go figure.

So, that's a whole driving thing. Feel free to imagine what sort of different shots happen. At 2:23 the shot pans towards the window again, the camera sort of "comes out of the car," the camera turns around showing the lights and cars and then the girl's car is shown moving away. 2:34 is focused on the wheels of a car that's driving by. 2:38 is a driver's POV, there's a shot from inside showing only the tops of the car's wheel and somebody's driving it. But it's a different car from the girl's. At 2:50 something there's a moving shot with the city lights and other cars streaming behind. It's like somebody lying down on top of a car with a camera and everything's just streaming by. At 3:10 the camera turns to the road, at the cars, and one car zooms by fast. And then a but later on it turns to a shot of the girl. Imagine whatever melodramatic as long as by 3:50 the car slows down and at 4:01 she pulls out in a parking lot between 2 other cars. And then the shot sort of comes from the car's hood at 4:11 so that it shows a bit of her car and the car beside her on the left and then the apartments on the right. And then she walks away, of course the focus is on her. By 4:28 she's already in the distance, climbing a flight of stairs and then a push in happens (it's when for example the foreground is blurred and the background's clear, and then the background suddenly blurs and the foreground clear). So the girl becomes blurred and we finally notice the foreground and a guy shadowed inside the girl's car, watching her. Yes, it's teh ex-boyfriend.

Beautiful.

I have to pitch this idea to Dixi.

I suggest after reading everything, you go download those songs I mentioned and then play it in order and follow the timecodes here, so that you get the idea. It's gonna be fun. And don't forget to tell me what you think. Please, please, please comment on this even if I don't know you or you don't know me or you think I hate you or you think you hate me :D (I don't really hate by the way.) Run through it with the songs again, it'd be tons better with the songs. And do it just so you have something to do. It's summer anyway :D

Oh, and, I like how the songs seem to fit. And Muse's lyrics are great. And I guess you really have to listen to it while "watching" the whole thing. (And yes, the bar scene song is sort of mellow and sad on purpose.)