The new warm fuzzy center of the universe
It only breaks your heart when you want it so much and you're expecting to get it.
Yes I admit I'm half expecting to get that scholarship and yes, it's wrong to expect, but don't we all? We only get heart broken about not getting something when we've been subconsciously or secretly expecting to get it, when we build so much hype around it.
And right now, frankly, I think if I do pass the interview and they send my papers to Japan I'll get rejected anyway. (Maybe I won't even pass the interview. Bugger.) I'll get the news in February after a six-month wait and I'll feel bad, like really bad. Then I'll get my hair cut again and maybe have its color changed drastically, this time for real. I'd watch a bunch of movies and go on impulse buys. But then I'll realize that means I'd be able to go to Europe that summer so it wouldn't be that bad at all. BUT, I'll still believe that I should've gotten it so the depression continues until I find something else to expect.
Oh we all know I need something to preoccupy myself with. I've been up the whole night just thinking about it. Why do I want to live in Japan for some years so badly that I lose sleep over it? I'm being serious here. It's so sad. I can't even will myself to scream because of it :(
* thanks for the title faye
Yes I admit I'm half expecting to get that scholarship and yes, it's wrong to expect, but don't we all? We only get heart broken about not getting something when we've been subconsciously or secretly expecting to get it, when we build so much hype around it.
And right now, frankly, I think if I do pass the interview and they send my papers to Japan I'll get rejected anyway. (Maybe I won't even pass the interview. Bugger.) I'll get the news in February after a six-month wait and I'll feel bad, like really bad. Then I'll get my hair cut again and maybe have its color changed drastically, this time for real. I'd watch a bunch of movies and go on impulse buys. But then I'll realize that means I'd be able to go to Europe that summer so it wouldn't be that bad at all. BUT, I'll still believe that I should've gotten it so the depression continues until I find something else to expect.
Oh we all know I need something to preoccupy myself with. I've been up the whole night just thinking about it. Why do I want to live in Japan for some years so badly that I lose sleep over it? I'm being serious here. It's so sad. I can't even will myself to scream because of it :(
* thanks for the title faye
posted by Byeong | 1:20:00 AM
1 Comments:
er... it's not bad to expect, but if you're expectations aren't met, then just expect something else. hope that makes sense.
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