(Premature) Late Night Madness [Four]
It's just 7:00 in the evening but the madness has already settled in. Actually, it's a certain madness that's been brewing for the past year already.
Have you ever felt like not getting mad because you'll end up forgiving the person in the end anyway? So you skip the uneasy part (of having to be in bad terms with each other) instead. Have you ever felt like complaining about something painful but skip it since you know you'll get used to it in the end anyway? Well, it's been like that for me and my emotions become indifferent to the point that it seems to be that I don't feel anything. You "feel" like you're not feeling anything...I know, it's a bad description.
All those are not so destructive things, but what worries me is that I start skipping the temporary good things knowing, or really just thinking, that it won't make much difference anyway. I tend to miscalculate and underestimate what things can really do. Often times somebody else says going through something would be hard, but then when I'm already in that situation I go "Okay, so it's hard. So what?" I've grown to become indifferent in many things it worries me in the sense that I become confused on whether other people "feel" or think the same. It worries me since I might be turning too indifferent, I don't feel anything significant anymore towards many other things. If I can skip going through something, I tend to skip it.
See, I'm even confusing you. The point is, do I just think too much about things? Am I putting some sort of hindrance to the natural flow of things? Have I turned into an emotionless...something? Maybe yes, maybe no. It could just be all in my fucking little mind. It's quite funny when I think about it now that I contemplated this a while ago while watching MTV (a show called Loveline or something), eating coconuts, switching channels to see Kikay Maching and wanting to get a copy of Hanson's latest album. It's not just funny, it's another the-world-is-upside-down scenario. I'm sick. Mentally, no longer physically. Or maybe, this mental sickness is an effect of physical (and mental in part) exhaustion.
Apart from the emotion rant though, I still possess the humane part of me by not wanting to miss any shows. Last monday night though, I didn't watch Queer Eye or Charmed because I was too tired and too sick to do so. I didn't do anything last night as well because I was too sick and lazy. I had to cram a senseless review for my chem long test this morning. Despite that, I got a happy 46/50. Yeah, that's good enough for me. Pathetic? Well, screw you. That's pretty much an achievement for me.
Going back to the topic of not wanting to miss any shows tonight is Amazign Race 5 and Charmed night. Good thing there are no homeworks for tomorrow (though I kept on promising to work on my final research paper). Here's a list of things I watch religiously. And alas, these are pathetic.
Monday
9:00pm Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (ETC)
9:00pm (during Queer Eye commercial breaks) Charmed (Studio 23)
Tuesday
Nothing. But I try to see if there's anybody good on Top of the Pops at 9:00. Which is a rare event.
Wednesday
8:00pm Amazing Race 5 (AXN)
8:00pm Charmed (Star World-again, I try to watch it during Amazing Race commercial breaks)
11:30 Charmed replay
Thursday
None
Friday
9:00pm (just started watching this) Dead Zone (RPN 9)
Saturday
8:00pm Queer Eye replay
9:00 or 10:00pm National Geographic special
Sunday
12:00 Charmed replay
9:00 or 10:00pm National Geographic special
Not because I didn't write anything under some days I don't watch TV. In fact I do. But it's mostly turned on Nickelodeon, Star World or National Geographic. Some other channels I frequent are AXN, ETC and HBO or Star World if there's any good movie on.
Other shows I watch that aren't listed on there (since I forgot what time and day) are the NatGeo specials (which varies), Iron Chef, $100 Taxi Ride, Chasing Time, Invader Zim (even though I seem to have exhausted all episodes save for some 3 others), Spongebob Squarepants (if it isn't a replay-since I seem to have exhausted all the episodes as well) and CSI (if I chance upon it).
There, I just told you my daily TV routine. The only "reality" shows I watch are Queer Eye, because it's absolutely funny and Kyan is there, and Amazing Race, because it's interesting, packed with adventure and, well, amazing. Plus it's not all subjective and it doesn't look too scripted because well, the toughest and luckiest really do win. But my number one reason would be: Come on, it's the Amazing Race! (Since you see, I understand if you don't like Queer Eye. But seriously, I've told 2 people to watch and they enjoy it so much and yes, I know straight males who watch it).
Well then. Ta ta. The Amazing Race 5 premiere is nearly on.
Have you ever felt like not getting mad because you'll end up forgiving the person in the end anyway? So you skip the uneasy part (of having to be in bad terms with each other) instead. Have you ever felt like complaining about something painful but skip it since you know you'll get used to it in the end anyway? Well, it's been like that for me and my emotions become indifferent to the point that it seems to be that I don't feel anything. You "feel" like you're not feeling anything...I know, it's a bad description.
All those are not so destructive things, but what worries me is that I start skipping the temporary good things knowing, or really just thinking, that it won't make much difference anyway. I tend to miscalculate and underestimate what things can really do. Often times somebody else says going through something would be hard, but then when I'm already in that situation I go "Okay, so it's hard. So what?" I've grown to become indifferent in many things it worries me in the sense that I become confused on whether other people "feel" or think the same. It worries me since I might be turning too indifferent, I don't feel anything significant anymore towards many other things. If I can skip going through something, I tend to skip it.
See, I'm even confusing you. The point is, do I just think too much about things? Am I putting some sort of hindrance to the natural flow of things? Have I turned into an emotionless...something? Maybe yes, maybe no. It could just be all in my fucking little mind. It's quite funny when I think about it now that I contemplated this a while ago while watching MTV (a show called Loveline or something), eating coconuts, switching channels to see Kikay Maching and wanting to get a copy of Hanson's latest album. It's not just funny, it's another the-world-is-upside-down scenario. I'm sick. Mentally, no longer physically. Or maybe, this mental sickness is an effect of physical (and mental in part) exhaustion.
Apart from the emotion rant though, I still possess the humane part of me by not wanting to miss any shows. Last monday night though, I didn't watch Queer Eye or Charmed because I was too tired and too sick to do so. I didn't do anything last night as well because I was too sick and lazy. I had to cram a senseless review for my chem long test this morning. Despite that, I got a happy 46/50. Yeah, that's good enough for me. Pathetic? Well, screw you. That's pretty much an achievement for me.
Going back to the topic of not wanting to miss any shows tonight is Amazign Race 5 and Charmed night. Good thing there are no homeworks for tomorrow (though I kept on promising to work on my final research paper). Here's a list of things I watch religiously. And alas, these are pathetic.
Monday
9:00pm Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (ETC)
9:00pm (during Queer Eye commercial breaks) Charmed (Studio 23)
Tuesday
Nothing. But I try to see if there's anybody good on Top of the Pops at 9:00. Which is a rare event.
Wednesday
8:00pm Amazing Race 5 (AXN)
8:00pm Charmed (Star World-again, I try to watch it during Amazing Race commercial breaks)
11:30 Charmed replay
Thursday
None
Friday
9:00pm (just started watching this) Dead Zone (RPN 9)
Saturday
8:00pm Queer Eye replay
9:00 or 10:00pm National Geographic special
Sunday
12:00 Charmed replay
9:00 or 10:00pm National Geographic special
Not because I didn't write anything under some days I don't watch TV. In fact I do. But it's mostly turned on Nickelodeon, Star World or National Geographic. Some other channels I frequent are AXN, ETC and HBO or Star World if there's any good movie on.
Other shows I watch that aren't listed on there (since I forgot what time and day) are the NatGeo specials (which varies), Iron Chef, $100 Taxi Ride, Chasing Time, Invader Zim (even though I seem to have exhausted all episodes save for some 3 others), Spongebob Squarepants (if it isn't a replay-since I seem to have exhausted all the episodes as well) and CSI (if I chance upon it).
There, I just told you my daily TV routine. The only "reality" shows I watch are Queer Eye, because it's absolutely funny and Kyan is there, and Amazing Race, because it's interesting, packed with adventure and, well, amazing. Plus it's not all subjective and it doesn't look too scripted because well, the toughest and luckiest really do win. But my number one reason would be: Come on, it's the Amazing Race! (Since you see, I understand if you don't like Queer Eye. But seriously, I've told 2 people to watch and they enjoy it so much and yes, I know straight males who watch it).
Well then. Ta ta. The Amazing Race 5 premiere is nearly on.
posted by Byeong | 8:00:00 PM
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