Between last night and this hour

Telephone ringing woke me up at 9am. The bugger.

It was my dad, calling in to follow up the DSL connection application. And to talk to my mom. But my mom went out to take care of that application and to drop my younger brother to school. (Where whenever he arrives, all the girls in her class get up and crowd around him and hug him while he stands there, clueless and looking like the most clueless asshole-by-chance you've ever seen a kid look.)

Stayed up until 2am reading this Jimmy Breslin book I bought ages ago for P50 at National Bookstore, I Don't Want To Go To Jail. Funny book. Nighty Night wasn't on TV and I forgot to tune into Adult Swim because I was busy reading that book and listening to The Office (which was on instead of Nighty Night). Once in a while that show is funny but overall, I just find it too boring. And I think that's the idea of the show. Star World better comes up with The Robinsons and Human Remains, fast. (But Scrubs and Less Than Perfect are awesome shows anyway, so I'm content.)

Speaking of Star World, there's the not-so-recently concluded Rockstar: INXS. I wonder how the old dudes are now, recording with JD Fortune and all. And as for the next Rockstar show Brook Burke seems to have hinted at... I wonder which vocalist's gonna kick the bucket next. Or would it be a vocalist looking for a band this time? A follow up show's a scary thought anyway.

(I'm listening to The Libertines now. I just want to say how I've always thought that they're songs, or some of their songs, would sound awesome sung by JD. Seriously. And ya know that somewhat "secret track" or the extention song after What Became Of The Likely Lads? I love that one. I love it. I don't worship Pete Doherty but I have to say, the guy's somewhat of a genius.)

And remember how JD sang this song Money or something about money? Well I remember my money and I don't have any money at the moment. Zilch. Except for Php500 which I was planning to put in the bank just because I haven't put something in there for ages. Oh man, where mi money go? I know I still have an extra 500 bucks somewhere here but... I don't know. I misplaced the bill or probably am just forgetting which cash registrar I had it placed in. Safe and tucked with a sweet capital ker-ching. I think? I think.

Damn, I need that money. I've been wanting to have some of shots I took in Japan to be blown up or something but haven't really found the time to choose which shots, exactly. Meh, I'd probably take the money and deposit another thousand or two when the lovely check from my lovely gran comes in. Money for my lovely trip to Singapore. Lovely. Heh :p This money loving is kinda dangerous but you can't deny it that somehow, with some things, you just can't do it without money. And it's a pity it's such a scarcity everywhere in the world except for the rich uns' pockets. Meh. Can't really care much about that sort of imbalance. As long as I have the necessities, I'm happy. If I have something extra then I'm extra happy. If I get something extraordinary to do with that extra than the more extraordinary I feel. Simple? Actually, it somewhat is. But when you start thinking about it seems to be more complex. And then later on you realize thinking it's complext makes it complex.

What am I exactly saving up for? Believe me, I just asked myself that now. All these years I've had this savings account with a small, unsteady trickle of money (because sometimes I forget the bugger exists) and I still don't have an idea of what I'm keeping all these money for. Maybe when I go off to live on my own... I wonder how much it'd be worth then. Maybe, maybe, when I ship my ass to somewhere... I wonder how much it'd be worth then. I can buy a ticket to some other country with the money, that much I've figured out. I remember, once they deducted a thousand from my account because I didn't deposit anything for one year. Hehehe.

Teller: Blablabladibla because you failed to deposit anything for a year.
Me: *shock*
Me: Oh ok.
Me: Meh. *Walks away*

I've had a stage-by-stage process of acceptance pretty similar to that for quite a long time now. You can't help some things. And if they happen, and it's your own fault it did, then there's no use complaining and yelling... you're responsible for it. And no use beating yourself to death too. You would want to live and not make that mistake again, just to show you've learned something. How can you do that with a rather pacified heart burried 6 feet under or as a pile of ash inside a square foot of box? You can't. So you don't kill yourself.

So there people. Morning ramblings brought to you by me. I'm not charging yet for this, don't worry. Yet.