The Vocabulary Underachiever Strikes Again

Yes, that's me. The SAT is telling me to boost my vocabulary. I should include more pretentious words that I will not use. *sigh* The things you have to do to take a single standardized test and score high so you can please college admissions (so that they'll take you in).

I took a practice SAT I test and scored a still not good enough 1330. Reminder, I got a 1260 in the real SAT I, and I'm retaking it this December. I WANT a 1400. I NEED a 1400. I got a 700 in Math and a yet again low 630 in English for this practice test. I downloaded the full length practice test from College Board's site by the way.

I'm frustrated and worried even though I know I still have a month to prepare for the test (and only have a week for the SAT II). There's this looming question of whether I can remember 500 words in one month. The thing is I haven't tried yet.

I actually did try to review that 500 word list for the previous SAT and well, it's not just my thing. Sitting down, reading a list of words, and forcing your brain to remember it, otherwise known as memorizing. I just can't find the right technique to remember these words.

*sigh*

That's all I can do for the moment. Sigh.

*sigh*

Movies and Books

So, I went to watch Shark Tale and out of all the previous I've seen, here are the movies I want to watch.

Ocean's Twelve (of course ;))

The Incredibles

That other cartoon movie about animals wanting to escape from the zoo. The penguins were psychotic.

After the Sunset

Before Sunset (I have to watch Before Sunrise though)

Taxi

And some books that I'd buy if I ever find them in these darn crappy bookstores:

iWitness (Tom Stoddart)

Saravejo (Tom Stoddart)

Photographs Then and Now (National Geographic)

100 Photographs That Changed the World (Life)

I have finally put a name to what I'd definitely be interested in being involved with: helping out in and documenting different human crises... and treading the forests of South America... and working in the underwater archeology sites in Europe... and helping Tibet (by screaming at the Chinese Gov in the face, well not really) preserve its culture and heritage.

Won't hurt to meet the current (14th) Dalai Lama too. I hope he doesn't die yet :-/

Cluttered desks and rose tea

I'm back home. I didn't wtach Shark Tale. I was about to watch it and thought otherwise, I'll bring Yuki, my little sister, with me tomorrow instead since she wants to see that movie. So I thought I'd finally finish the 4 or 5 chapters left in Tuesdays with Morrie in a coffee shop. I got some cold freeze and oreo cheesecake. I actually brought Tuesdays with Morrie with me just so I have something to put in my bag. I always bring a bag... it's like a security blanket (only, of course, it's a bag).

And so I ordered my drink. I heard Bea of Star Struck Kids fame thanking people with her whiny voice and Kurt, from the same "reality-based" artista (actor/actress) search, yelling out "I love you all!" (while the fans, adults, mind you, screaming). I heard them and had to endure it and contorted my face and burried it in my hands while waiting at the counter because they were just on the ground floor having a fan's day or whatever sort of appearance. I love that kid, Kurt, but it was just annoying his yelling I love you and these grown ups screaming after him, a 6 year old kid, like he was some gross deformedly muscular hunk.

Good thing it was nearly the end. So I read and read until I came to page 183, in the chapter "The Last Tuesday". Tears started the well up. I didn't cry like it was some chick movie. I cried because it was genuinely touching. I tried to blink them back since I didn't want to pour my heart out crying (not that I would have---even though in the comforts of my home, I still would've cried quietly). I teared for real at page 188, during Morrie's funeral and Mitch realized it was a Tuesday.

There were moments in the book that I smiled. The only significant moments, two of them, being on that story Morrie told about the wave afraid to crash and at Mitch's brother's faxed note to Mitch. The rest of the book was about realizations, combining of new and past philosophies I have, and the like. It's better than any other alienating self-help book out there. Each and every day I cease caring about "worldly", "out there" matters such as how other people act, why they do what they do, and stuff. I'm not really affected so what the fuck? I guess it's less about not caring but more about detaching from matters that don't concern me. A step towards becoming a better person. Now I wish I had the chance to get to know all the people I never got to know or the people I might not be able to know. But thinking about it, there are people I know that I really won't be able to get along with so yeah... let's dismiss that.

Let me rephrase that. From now on I'll give everybody a chance to show who they really are (unless they do something unexcusably bad, ill-mannered, inconsiderate, insensitive to somebody I know personally or if they do it repeatedly to people I don't really know personally...hahaha). When we talk about some people and end up dubbing them as negative people it's not because they are or we choose to perceive them as negative, it's because we only focus on the negative things they've done. For the past 2 years, I've been bringing myself to seeing the bright side of each person, sometimes rationalizing their personalities and how they are, rationalizing their evil sides even, if such exists.

Well I'll end that there. I wish I didn't choose rose tea. I know I don't like its taste much but I still chose it for some weird reason. Tastes pretty awful when it actually settles on the taste buds.

I'm signing off for the third time this day with a phrase from the note Mitch's brother faxed him from spain.

Life's a bitch.

Forgetting's a bitch

Tadaaa. I'm home after only 2 hours. I arrived at the mall 3 minutes after leaving, remembering that I forgot to bring the card where I wrote the credit card number and stuff. I decided I'd fill up the registration first and come back with the number. I went to the bookstore and searched to no avail, they didn't have a copy of the SAT II Biology reviewer. I looked around the magazine corner instead... they didn't have NatGeo but they had my usuals, Time and NewsWeek.

I found a photojournalism photo book featured in NewsWeek, iWitness by Tom Stoddart. It's a collection of black and white photos depicting poverty, anguish, and suffering. There was a photo of a cellist (complete with cello) in a cemetery mourning the death of a loved one that he took. It was such a strong, emotive piece that I wanted to cry on the spot.

So I was there, standing beside the rows of magazine, greedily and shamelessly reading the copy of NewsWeek I didn't plan to buy, teary-eyed while having an emotional moment. It was such a touching photo. Right then and there I felt that Tom Stoddart was my hero, despite that I only saw 2 photos of him. I think that's another great thing about it that makes it real... I can confidently and honestly say he's my hero despite that it was the first photo by him that I saw.

Here are photos by him
http://www.digitaljournalist.org/issue0409/stoddart26.html (a graveyard one too but not the same one)
http://www.digitaljournalist.org/issue0409/stoddart40.html (this one made me think... even if I might risk getting a disease or something I'd bathe these people with my bare hands rather than with surgical gloves)
http://www.digitaljournalist.org/issue0409/stoddart01.html

You might not share the same sentiments but my opinions remain the same. I hope though that somehow, you feel something through his photos as well. So now my heroes are: Tom Stoddart, Gino dela Paz and the Dalai Lama. hehe :D

Before I came home I called here and asked Ate Cel, our house help, to look for that piece of card. At first she sent me a text message saying she can't find it. When I came home she said she already found it and texted me the credit card number. I didn't feel that I just wasted energy since I came home to eat as well anyway. I'm coming back later to finish my registration in a damned net cafe and to watch Shark Tale. And buy that NewsWeek issue perhaps.

Today

Today I will be rushing off to the enarby mall again to a net cafe to register for the SAT I since I'm going to retake it. Something is wrong with my IE so I can't login to collegeboard from my computer.

I have to finishe these cookies and milk first though and finish reading today's paper. After watching the last 10 minutes of Power Rangers Wild Force (wherein I was enlightened that their huge robot can play soccer using an armadillo as a ball) I switched to CNN instead since my cousin dropped by this morning and told me about the Osama Bin Laden tape. Oprah's on it now. She's been awarded by the UN for her work concerning education in Africa. She's such an admirable person.

Hmm, interesting what the result of 2004's US Elections will be. I'm thinking Bush will win. I saw a clip from 9/11 with Bush reading to the kids in FLorida(?) again and I just had to laugh at his face. He could've been thinking... "I have to continue reading this story, the goats might have the answer." :D

Now, their talking about US Ambassadors to various countries and asked if these ambassadors can speak the language of these countries. :( They can address the Filipinos in English anyway. I mean, the people they're going to talk to know English well and can speak it so there's no need. I guess it'd only be for looking and being able to communicate more effectively with the jeepney or tricycle drivers in case they decide to ride using public transportation.

The Week In Review

Nothing much this week except for my growing, shall we say, 'sentiment' about school. Well lately, I've been the laziest in school. Maybe it's just that we're graduating anyway, low grades or not. And that I already want the school year to end? I really want high school over and done with. I don't like the people who run the school (except for the Guidance Center and Dr. Miranda---the school director) and there are quite a number of assholes who don't know any better. But there are really nice people too. People who are fun to be with, talk with and just plain fun. People whom I wish I got the chance to know better. Well I still have approximately 73 school days until the last and final high school periodic exams are over for us. Overall I still appreciate high school. It is where I have finally formed a semi-solid identity after all (I can always morph into a 'real' hippie later on...well...) I still like it despite all the ghastly revelation/s I've learned about lately it was still a fun, well spent 4 years.

So this week, I learned that my GPA might frop to 1.9 something from 1.7 something (1 being the highest, 5 the lowest). That's the lowest I'll be getting if it happens. Yesterday, there was a costume party in school. The first and only for our batch. Not many came but at least those who did (most anyway, except for about 3 others) were in costume - real costume or something lousy passed off as a costume. It was a flop but nobody can say that they did'NT have fun even for at least 3 seconds. It was fun watching all the good people who DID show up in a costume. The Adam's Family came in late at around 9:30. Talk about fashionably late. I had to leave because Iw as only catching a ride with Klarizze. But when we left they were preparing to make their grand entrance, accompanied by that Adam's Family theme song (the one with snapping... tenenenen *snap* *snap* tenenen *snap* *snap*). Daisy really did resemble Wednesday and Lance did quite resemble the baby. Gellie did look like the secret twin sister of Wednesday, that they named Thursday, and Jean was Morticia-like, her long hair helped. They all had pasty white faces :D Heehee

Somebody came in as Spongebob! Biono made the costume himself out of box and paint and some tissue, I'm guessing. Really nice. Neil came in as some twisted demented devil or whatever the hell he's supposed to be (he actually walked to 7-11 near his house and got a taxi with the poster paint on his face already). Ayisse came as in a kid, complete with rag doll, rag doll bag and huge candy...cute. Kaye, Kla, Dixi and many other girls came in wearing black (some with witch's hats). Special mention to Dixi for having a kick ass post-Victorian/Victorian-inspired evil counter-part-of-Mary-of-little-lamb-song-fame costume. Comeplete with improvised dominatrix whip, pointy shoes and a embroidered cloth umbrella (courtesy of me).

Somebody came in as Cat in the Hat, a demoness, a monk, a priest, various black-caped people, a jedi, anime personalities (Ginnie came in as Ginji from Get Backers! ^_^), whether Trinity or not Kaye (another Kaye) came in as someone from the Matrix (that costume was cool too), Lara Croft (Hazel carried it well, she was all Lara Croft and Angelina Jolie indeed), various vampires, J3 came in as a dementor like clawed psycho with barred "steel" mask (he attempted to eat with the mask on) and many other that I might have forgotten.

Well I came in as a hippie, quite a number mentioned that I was Pocahontas (the band around the forehead reminiscent of her probably, well how was I suppose to hold the flowers in my hair without it? ;)). I didn't have any anklet with bells so I had to make do with a jute necklace with small leaf charms on it that I tied around my ankles.

Music sucked, as usual, but there were a few (around 2 or three haha) half-decent songs. Food was okay though not many choices. I was hopeful all through out that there's hope, despite the 2 "black outs", for an enjoyable party but when they started playing slow songs all in a row, I knew it was all lost. Props to all the other people who tried to make the most out of it by dancing though. I really appreciate the effort for organizing the party. I did have fun watching the people dance and attempting to make Klarizze dance (we didn't succeed) as well. However, there was no really hyper, decent and nice danceable song that could've made us (me along with the others) dance in the middle of that huge circle (that some people broke after a while by trying to make an exclusive circle for them and their classmates). I would've, you know. It's not everyday that you dance like crazy.

Again.

It's not everyday that you dance like crazy.

That's the power of parties (these batch parties, at least), I guess. Even if you don't dance or don't like parties (in my case) you do get to have fun. But you need other people to force you, er... help you though. I guess it's not true for the case of those alone (whether isolated or trying to isolate themselves). But that's the other good thing about these batch parties, there are no barriers (at least most of the time). People dance with each other, whether they're good friends or not, people dance inside circles of people they don't know. Cross out the "dancing" part and that's pretty much true for concerts as well.

This is the one and only I attended in the last 3 years as well by the way. I thought I might as well attend it since it's going to be my last (not counting grad ball).

Progress Report on The Project

I think I already wrote something about it or maybe not, but I want to write about it anyway. After the Division Press Conference, Dixi and I went outside and walked along Roces Avenue to take photos as material for our collaboration.

Wait. I think I already did write about this. (Why don't you just check your frikkin blog? Uhm... I'm too lazy? As always. ...eek, schizo convos.)

Dixi and I are going to scour the gas stations from Novaliches to Philcoa this Saturday. We'd include Commonwealth market as well and possibly, Sta. Clara church. As much as we'd like to go to the market along Manggahan Road, we're afraid we can't for lack of back-up, people that can watch our backs because let's face it, there is a certain danger to it. We'd have to prepare sandwiches and other "goodies", as Dixi put it, to give to the kids so that we could talk while eating. I'm thinking we should add another bag with rice and some canned goods, plus some fresh fish maybe hehe, to give to their parents for their family. I've wanted to do this ever since. I think I wrote about it in my old site at bowtome.com, about how I'd just want to get off whatever vehicle I'm in and distrbute sandwiches to the street children. I know... it counds cheesily reminiscent of what politicians or beauty queens will do for self-promotion.

After FULLY reading the main article accompanying the wonderful photoessay in Time's issue, Tragedy of Sudan, for the first time, I realized that I have something new to add to the things I want to do. Here it goes...

1. Volunteer for WWF in Palawan
2. Make NatGeo docus
3. Become a NatGeo photographer
4. Learn how to surf
5. Travel the world
6. Live in Europe and South America
7. Spend some time in the Polynesia
8...
9...
etc.
etc.
?###?. Work with a humanitarian aid group in Africa WHILE documenting my visit through photography

As for the new addition, I think I wrote about that in the last English periodic test I took (bout 2.5 weeks ago). I just fully realized it when I read that article. I mean, it seems perfect. Only I don't really get money for doing it but I can go take photos (and I talked about making short documentaries during my English periodic test) and help them at the same time.

Darfur, here I come.

Well, not really.

Nothing Really

Multitasking, as usual. I'm researching data to support my analysis of results for a Biology lab report. I got my temporary cellphone for the meantime as well. My dad bought a Panasonic G55 because he thought it was cute. I think it gives me a headache. It's just too small.

But it suits my needs anyway. As long as I can call and text. Nevermind camera phoens and colour screens. But I'm actually looking to buy a Nokia 6260, my grandma volunteered to buy me a new phone. I haven't told her yet that I need extra money for college if I were to study in the US. hehe

I know I said sometime before that I'm no longer buying a Nokia but... from what I've seen of that phone, it seems to be a good one. Well, I'm going with either that or the new Samsung ones. Whatever. As long as its tri-band, I can call, I can text and well... web browsing capabilities won't hurt. And another important thing, it has to have a planner/scheduler. So I'm currently considering a Samsung (don't really know which one but *that* new one, haha), the 6260, the new Panasonic PDA/phone hybrid or the Sony Ericsosn K700i. Anybody who can share information will be thanked accordingly. I'm too lazy to search the web for specs at the moment (even though it's not even a task). Maybe I'm too preoccupied with this lab report at the moment. Enzymes, tss... I'll finish that in an hour or less (hahaha I'm too proud).

I have rounded up photos I'm going to have recopied by the way for my Swarthmore optional artistic material. I'm planning to send it to the other unis I've applied to as well. Mostly my street-portraiture work (on people, of course), if there is such thing.

Untitled... yay

I'm eating words from yesterday this morning because I am retaking SAT I! Oh joy.

My dad was right. The only change in direction my score would take after retaking it is UP. I already know what's appearing. This time I'd be prepared. My only problem is, I'm on a personal war against the SAT I English test because it mainly comprises of vocabulary. Not the usual vocabulary but the superfluous vocab, dictionary words you'll never really use in normal everyday conversations.

This time though, aside from meorizing the Top 500 Words list, I'll finish all the unfinished books I have inside the house instead. As for the reading comprehension, I'd probably stop being all neurotic and quit thinking about what answer they want but base it on, well, rational assesment of the supplied information. Woah. And I will not watch a movie on the eve of the test... especially if it's something that involves stealing the answer key to the SAT. It will only bugger me thoughts during the test such as "Why did the woman ride the train at midnight? Why? Why? WHY!?!?!?"

Anyway... I'm off to start my "Why Swarthmore?" essay for the college in the question. And I'm off to start reading again, breaking my hiatus from it. And I'd probably go watch... erm... The Perfect Score. I was about to watch it last night when I changed my mind and watched Kill Bill 2 instead. I haven't even watched Vol 1.

The SAT Once Again

After coming back from a day spent rounding the mall aimlessly I am back in Novaliches in an internet cafe---inside a mall...again. My SAT Math score was 640 while I scored a low 620 in English... I expected to do better yet, I failed. It was thoroughly confusing. Damn English section. It is the reason for my low SAT score. I dare not take the damned thing again. All I have to do now is to get a high score in the SAT II Writing. I think I'll do well in that. It is writing, after all. Honestly, I knew I was going to get a low score in the SAT I English.

Looking on the bright side of things, I actually have an excuse for getting a freakishly low score in the English test. The admissions officer would probably think, "Well, she is from another country after all." I have to show them though that despite my incapability to memorize extreme dictionary english for the damned SAT I English test, I can speak the language. So I need to schedule an interview. I think the interview aims to gauge your personality or character but it'd show that you can speak the freakin' language as well. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn the SAT English test. Damn you!!!

Anyway... off I go to schedule my college interviews. Tralala...

It's tiring to be average. :D hahaha

crap ass SAT 1 score

Soo.... guess what I got in my SAT 1? 1260 hahahaha Yeah. A bit low but... at least the score I got for each section was the exact average for the current freshmen in University of Southern California. haha

Hmm... now I'd have to ace the SAT II Biology.

Can I do that?

Neil, you got a 1330 by the way. You bastard. ]:-]

Borrowing money sucks...even if it's from your mom

I had to borrow P500 from my mom because I'm broke and ran out of stipends. I don't usually need money, I never buy anything... but we're having band practice today. Woopeedeedoodaaaaa. I don't know if I'm going to return it, if I have to return it, if I won't return it or if it's okay if I don't return it. For sure I'll feel a bit guilty for not returning it though. haha

Anyway, my Physics teacher is mad at me (well isn't he ticked off by everybody else?). He went into the class from the back, as usual, and Klarizze exclaimed while look at him eyes wide "Oh my god!!!!" And then he said, "What?" with that mean tone. And then we were laughing and all because a photo I took of a very nice and accomodating jeepney driver looked a bit like him when he's smiling. So we tell him, he takes the picture and gets mad. He said he's not happy and I'd have to erase the board the whole week next week. Fine by me but I got annoyed because his moodiness strikes again (he just walked out on the same class two days in a row because he got annoyed at them). And what? He said "Give me some dignity" when he saw the photo. What dignity is there to lose if you look like some jeepney driver?

I feel sad for him because he believes one's dignity can be taken and given by other people. Dignity is a state of mind. No one can rob you of your dignity unless you decide to give it away. Dignity is not what happens to you physically or superficially (even facially... haha). It is not what others think of you but more of what you think of yourself. A movie about early america where blacks are ridicueld in predominantly white schools put that into words for me. And from there I pieced it all together.

Heck, this even leads me to believe that that jeepney driver is a better person than him. Let's just hope he never reads this and I know he wouldn't. It was all in good fun, the comparing and all. And I think he feels bad just because it was a jeepney driver that he looks like.

Well he's always seemed to be some sort of elitist. That's how we see him at least. Actually, another person told me that. And yeah, I gave it a thought and it seems so.

Even chaos has a pattern

Nevermind the title, all artsy and logical, cognitive and affective at the same time, huh? It was because during a talk in our Econ class by Sir Vlad, mostly about the long term and affective affects Econ has (which was fun and enlightening, I must admit), he said "...to see the pattern in chaos." So I kind of came up with that. I like how it sounds but... that's just it.

Anyway, last Wednesday and Thursday was the Photojournalism contest for the Division level school paper competition. I got 9th place even though I finished 1st in the District level. I wasn't very surprised because there were definitely lots more people than the District competition. Well, at least I still placed but I can't help but feel a bit cheated by all these kids who can't even hold their SLR well and who took to heart (a tad too much) the lecture given before the contest. The judge said "I want to see foreground blur, background blur, linear perspective," etc. etc. He seems like a good guy and also spoke about the "meaning" of the photo. I knew he loved photos with messages.

Well I took photos how I usually would. Things that were genuinely interesting to me, not just bland halls showing linear perspective or whatever the hell. That was another problem though, the inside of the school doesn't have much interesting things to offer. You had to make them interesting. I didn't think any other of the kids were able to make them interesting. *sigh*

I'm just wondering which photos one 1st to 8th place. I'm not sour just because I finished 1st in the District. In fact, I don't really care much. It's not really a big downer because if they can't get my type of photography, then screw them. (Yeah, that's the spirit! haha)

Admittedly though, I have to practice how to focus quickly. That's about it. But it's kinda hard with eye glasses on.

After that whole thing, Dixi and I went outside the school and onto the streets hoping we can start working on our collaboration. We got photos and came up with some really good ones. View them in my deviant art gallery by clicking this. Yay.

The Project So Far

I typed a lot last night and by that I do mean a lot. I typed it in notepad so I'd just have to copy paste it later on. But why did my mom have to talk on the phone so long? WHY!? So I fell asleep (it was around 10:30pm then). When I woke up this morning my computer was already shut down. Now I lost all those unsaved stuff I wrote. Ahhhhrrgggggg. My devil of a little b rother probably turned off all the switches last night.

So I typed about the Commonwealth project Dixi and I are doing. It has evolved into a collection of different places instead. This new project is going to be a photo collection/photo essay to be bundled into a book we're hoping to publish. Annie has recently been added to the list of interested people... her mom works at National Book Development and has a list of printers and publishers. I could probably use that list. She told me we could probably get sponsors as well.

I know we're 15-17 year old kids but for some reason I know that this COULD work. If only we actually do something about it. It'd be one heck of bonus point for US college admissions as well hehehe

These are the places...

+ Rizal Park/Luneta - we're thinking of including break water as well and possibly UN Avenue (and the nearby avenues).

+ Divisoria - it's certainly NOT Greenhills shopping center and is a whoel lot different from it. We went there to buy beads and other stuff for an accessories business we're starting in school for our economics class and yeah, it was fun. I got obsessed with a certain three in the small plaza with Bonifacio's statue while waiting for Kla's driver (who got lost) to fetch us. It was a pretty tree. Yeah.

+ Sta. Clara Church - inside and outside where there are kids selling sampaguita and the like.

+ Gas stations along Commonwelath Ave.

+ Intramuros

These places (except for inside Sta. Clara, Luneta and Intramuros) may generally come across as filthy. But I see beauty in how real it is. It's hard to explain but that's what I wish to capture with my photography and share with everybody else. It may be common place but I have a feeling that there is still need to get it out to public...not that there's a large portion of the society which is unaware. I cannot gauge how large or small it is, but there's that portion of the society.

Please tell me what you think and if you have any insights to share, suggestions, whatever constructive or not, I'll take it. Post a comment (but please include you're e-mail address or some such) or just e-mail me at amlcortez[at]hotmail.com

Currently listening to: Dosed - RHCP
Currently wanting to: mingle with and watch the fashion core kids in Harajuku

Love Junkies

I retyped my sister’s source for an essay requirement on chemical aspects of love. I got so annoyed at her for not being able to retype it herself (printer won’t connect to the PC so she has to print it on my laptop… and there are no other means of transferring it from PC to laptop since my laptop modem is busted and my flash drive is not with me at the moment). I put on RHCP’s By The Way to soothe the beast and yeah, I guess Anthony Kiedis voice and basically the Chili Peppers’ music induces dopamine-release. Yes. I felt happy listening to them. Hahaha Unusual but yeah. Through the years their songs started to sound lighter, happier and less depressing.

As I retype the whole main source for her essay I figured out, relationships may after all be one big chemical affair. Maybe love is just a series of chemical highs governed by the same influx and reflux of hormones and chemicals we get when we all crush on someone (like people in print ads and commercials or movies and tv shows and the like). So I’m thinking: I’d rather obsess over people I would probably never get to know in ‘real’ life than commit? Or eat chocolates for life. I mean, it’s all about the feeling right? Well, maybe not.

After all the phetylethylamine, dopamine and nonrepinephrine has decreased production, people feel less in love, either seeking new ways to feel loved or pleasure. They either make efforts to rekindle old fires with their lover but most of the time they say things aren’t really working out and thus it becomes an excuse to cheat.

Tidbit for the day: Love is just a series of chemical highs.

Power to the love junkies? hahaha

Disclaimer: No, AM is no way in love or has been in love with anybody and probably will never be in the near future. She just came across an article discussing the “chemistry” of ‘love’ through her annoying sister.

Currently Listening To: Cabron - RHCP
Currently Wanting To: Lie under the stars while in a gondola in Venice.
Currently Reading: October 11 issue of Time
Currently Eating: ube macapuno ice cream
Currently Thinking: of when I can put my newly acquired DV making skills to use

I lost my cellphone to a butt ugly squatter

Taken from a journal post I made in my devArt account:

I wasn't almost killed or anything but yeah... we were inside the school service and just drove out of the school and it happened there. Our school, despite being the premiere science high school in the country, is surrounded by slums. Yes, and the government is stupidly doing nothing about it even though 3 or so people already got stabbed to death by idiotic, 'needy', criminal squatters because they wanted their cellphones.

We were fetched late today, at about 6:30pm, and as usual, I sit at the back of the vehicle (it's not really a bus or anything). When we stopped at the corner of the road, at the end of the road where our school is located, some scary looking man walks up to the back of the service where 2 other people and I were sitting. He just casually opened the frikkin door and said something. Of course, shocked and scared (more of shocked really, wondering where the hell did he get the guts to do that), two of us were screaming our heads off (due to being startled, shocked and disgust...really, he looked filthy). I screamed because I was afraid he'd get inside and sit with us since there was one spare space. I heard him saying he only wanted the cellphone so I threw the crappy piece of gadget at him (it was due for replacement anyway---having been included in the laundry once and dropped in a toilet bowl). When he got the phone, he just walked away to where his other filthy, robbing, criminal friends were sitting at the side of the road.

I know... we forgot to lock the door. Effin' hell. Damn it. I don't really care if he got my phone. I'm more concerned about the collection of contact numbers in my sim card.

The other girl at the back of the car said she noticed a knife in the man's other hand. The other girl I was sitting with was trying to shoo his hand away from me. I guess the man saw through the untinted car windows that I was holding a cellphone. I was trying to reply to a text Neil sent. He got hold of my bag and threw it back down learning the phone wasn't there. He can have the damn cellphone. I haven't even used it much for the past year or so.

Anyway these are thoughts that ran through my head during that 5 seconds (really, it was that fast).
+ I wanted to kick him but didn't do it since I don't want to risk my leg being pulled.
+ I wanted to tell him that it's a damn school service and not a public transportation when he first opened the door only to realize what the true intentions of his ugly face are a split second later.
+ I wanted to ask if I could get my sim card first before I gave him my phone. Actually, I wouldve asked it but I was too damn scared and I wanted to get it over and done with.
+ When he left and everything was over I was hysterical because a) I lost my SIM CARD not my CELLPHONE, and b) my eye glasses got squished by the car door due to my haste when I closed the door.
+ Why couldn't he even close the door!? I had to reach out and close it. Too scary. I guess he was nervous too since he didn't bother to close the door.

I cursed him as I closed the door. Or after I closed the door. Whatever.

Things happen and we were just unlucky that that happened to us. All's fine now. It was actually pretty funny. The girl I was sitting next to, Carla, suddenly cried (as in cried) because of shock.

I cried too because I thought the person was too ugly to bear.

Okay, I'm just kidding. I cried too because of shock.

So kids, next time don't forgot to lock your car doors.

But wait... maybe you're not living in the Philippines.

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So. I have finally launched my Friendster account as a tool for rekindling old friendships with grade school friends. Haven't gotten up to searching for them one by one though. But I did a lot of browsing just now. Amusing how many things you find in friendster. It's also hard to gauge if these people are really sincere with their testimonials too. Erm... testimonials can go to hell. Friendster is amazing in a way that you find out who's "friends" with who and somehow some friendships or connections or relations or whatever the hell are justified through it. Or not. Damn it. Friendster is confusing me. It can go to hell too.

The Sports Fest So Far

I was supposed to play soccer because I'm getting tired of my lack of skill in basketball. But then again, I realized I will be completely useless to the team (composed of one section from each of the 4 year levels), will burn under the sun (not that I mind it that much), contribute to the team's loss, have virtually no experience in soccer (except for kicking offensive people, if that's included), and have I mentioned I'm completely useless out there in the field? So, I sticked with soccer and Kaye had to play in two events, basketball and soccer, since she kinda replaced me. I'm sorry Kaye, I think you enjoy soccer anyway :D hehehe

We lost against Gluon because of a mistake in the 1st quarter line up (I'm now talking about basketball). We lost by 2 points. The next game, we won by 18 points (18-0). Tomorrow we'll be playing against Charm, the best section in our bracket. Of course, Ange, my dear friend, is there. hehehe If we're not playing we're either bumming around, taking out lunch or, most of the time, cheering for our house-mates in other events. It's been fun watching the guy's basketball team play. Their record's 2-0 so far. It's fun to cheer and scream like a crazy, bleeding truck driver... uhm, no, not me. That's Marvin. Again. It's fun to cheer and scream like a crazy, bleeding die-hard fan. Yeah. That's it. Although I am not even a fan of the sport.

Today, I took some photos of the girls' soccer team as they played. Then up we went to our basketball game after that. JF, a junior, along with the other juniors were asking for somebody who has a camera to take a photo of their backs aligned... they were sitting down in a line arranged by their jersey numbers. Pretty amusing, the numbers were 33, 44, 55, 66, 66, 77, 88, 99. As I was about to take the shot... guess what. My battery died. I ran out of friggin battery! This is the 2nd time I have been restrained from taking photos due to effin' DEAD BATTERIES. I hate you batteries. I hate you.

Went to NSRI around 4:00 to pick up my cytotoxicity testing results and analysis. The cassava extract with linamarin did kill the cells. In fact, at 100% concentration it annihilated the leukemic cells and blasted them to bits. The 1% concentration was the only one that produced a blue bloated dead cell though. And it only produced one out of the approx 200 live cells (killed about 4.33 cells). As for the 100% concentration, only 2.33 cells, TWO POINT THIRTY THREE!, from an average of 194.66 were lucky to survive the rampaging wrath of my linamarin/cassava leaf extracts. HAHAHAHAHA Wait. Either you don't understand me or you don't care. Moving on...

So. We'll be playing basketball against Charm tomorrow, not too hot about the game, and I'm applying online to University of Southern California at the moment. At about 5:00pm I checked my email by the time I got home and just remembered through an e-mail from Ms. Mila at PAEF that today is the Linden Fair of US colleges and unis at Manila Penninsula Hotel. I totally forgot. Well, can't be bothered to run all the way to Ayala so I called up a few friends and asked them to check the University of Hawaii at Manoa booth for me.

I hope Dixi and I can continue our trek through gasoline stations and wet markets along Commonwealth Avenue to get material for our supposed collaboration (a photoessay/photocollection) that we WANT tog et published as a book. Too ambitious? Well anything is possible if you just try to do something and talk to the correct people. haha

As I was riding home today I just realized that it'd be hard to take photos and interview people in the wet markets. Gasoline stations would be out best bet. And to think that I wanted the two of us to go into the squater areas. It is highly posisble after all to get stabbed in those places in broad daylight... Now I'm thinking we could get stabbed in the wet markets too. Or probably get beaten 'til bruised and bloody by rotten eggplants.

50 kilos off my back

That's right. SAT 1s are done. At least, the first one. But that's a huge burden off my back. My periodic exams are done too. Next week would be Intrams week in school. A whole week of sports. :eek:

After the SATs Ayisse, Dixi, Neil, Gelo and I went to Market-Market to eat lunch. We were freezing (and hungry) inside the damn Little Theater at ISM (the test venue, International School Manila) for 4 hours. Whenever I had to erase a wrongly shaded circle on my answer sheet with the eraser head on my pencil, I couldn't flip the damned pencil and replace it on my hand because my fingers were nearly numb. Ayisse's nose and ears were nearly purple too haha. Speaking of those ever-present circles in standardized tests, I hated the SAT circles. They were hard to shade because of their stupidly horizontal elliptical orientation. Talk about ergonomic...not. Eventually, I adjusted to shading the blasted circles, I mean, OVALS without having to skew my answer sheet to an almost vertical position reminiscent of an inelastic curve.

Some questions during the test made me think of what happened to the people in the examples or "So what if I answer this? So what if I don't?" I shouldn't have watched The Perfect Score the night before. There seemed to be an exact replay of parts of it during certain moments while I took the test.

While I watched the movie the night before, halfway through it (I forgot which part) it just hit me that it IS easy to get a low score in the SAT. I hope I get a 1400 or something higher, but I doubt it somehow. 1400 range is the highest I can get, I think. :( Ah, so much self doubt.

Hmm... maybe I should watch Perfect Score again this afternoon.

I've got awesome new photos at deviantArt. Everybody visit it! Bang

I want to watch Shark Tale. Reviews said it's not so funny but I bet I'd get a kick out of watching a shark mob boss and a whole gang of sharks hahaha. I thought Robert de Niro sounded particularly gangster-ish and a part of the trailer looked so much like those scenes from gangster movies where the mob bosses meet. I only learned through a particular review of the movie that Robert de Niro is voicing Don Lino, the shark mob boss. :D The thought of it makes me laugh already.

A Day Off School

I am on an unofficial day off from school because the SATs are tomorrow. So... yeah. I just had breakfast as well (soft boiled eggs and rice) but nobody cares. haha

So, what's on for the rest of the day? I know. Nobody cares. I'll put it on anyway.

AM
9:00 - 10:00 I'm inspired to make a new layout after months, finally. So I'm taking a time off of my day for that.
10:00 - 12:30 Do a little vocabulary review for SAT for that damned English test. My worst enemy tomorrow would be the vocab part... I mean, what the hell do we need those obscure words for? Not only will we have to explain it when we use it in daily conversions, it sounds pretentious as well.

PM
12:30 - 1:00 Eat lunch. What? Me? Miss it? No way.
1:00 - 2:30 Go to the internet cafe and print out my SAT admission ticket since my PC doesn't want to read my nearly black inkless printer.
2:30 - whenever Probably do some more reviewing.

:O

Kjwan is on TV right now. This is the first time I've heard their music. Wow. I definitely like it better than Sandwich (comparing it to that because they have the same vocalist). First time I heard of them from Ayisse I didn't really scream and rushed to the nearest computer and download something by them. Well, reason why I thought of that because half of the Sandwich/Kjwan fans are (I'm assuming) Marc Abaya fans. And that's their sole reason for liking the band. But I'm doing them justice since I think after a time they start appreciating the band for what it really is, not just because of the vocalist, and learn to be real fans of the band.

Really.

Hmm, nifty video too.

Reminds me of that movie about the 7 deadly sins. I loved that movie.

From the movie: I'm the anger... and your the wrath.

I'd go out and film something

I'd go out and film something in the mall... something like a case study of people in the mall. But I'm afraid they might deem me as one of those people who have never been to a mall so they feel the need to take videos and pictures. Really. I've seen those kind of people. I'm still a beginner with all this DV making thing so I have yet to learn to do things for the sake of my DV making art. I can somehow do that with photography. Y'know, taking photos of complete strangers and saying thank you afterwards. I've somehow made it a rule for myself to build a good relationship with my subjects (even only for that short while) if I'm doing street photography.

Me: *click* *click* *snap* *snap*
Stranger: *is wearing a confused, what-the-hell expression on his face*
Me: Thank you! *smile* *run away and look through the view finder of your cam pretending your rushing to take another photo of another person/thing*

So that's your short guide to building a good relationship with your subjects made by yours truly.

I just remembered (through another person's blog) that Rooney's album is already here. It's been here for 2 months now or so. It's been in existence far longer than that. I decided earlier to run to the mall now, get some films developed and pick up Rooney's album but then... I have a number of things to pay for still. Aww, dammit.

The sweet sound of film advancing and rewinding

I loaded new batteries and a fresh roll of film already. I have to admit I missed that noise when the film advances :D

On another note, I took the CNET Help online course on DV making Sir JLeg suggested. Parke Gregg (I always thought his name was Gregg Parke) is holding the course if I'm not mistaken. I've seen him quite a lot on the net already, providing short film making courses online and some tutorials.

Two more exams to go but...

We are still to take the last two and worst subject exams tomorrow but amazingly, I'm not the least bit worried. Econ... even though I got a 5.0 in practically every quiz (and one long test) since Sir JLeg left, I think I can manage the periodic exam since I already know all the posisble mistakes I've made and can commit. Physics on the other hand... well I'm just not worried about it even though I should be. I can attribute my worry-free state because I have already extracted linamarin from my cassava leaves and have passed it to NSRI for testing. That was my main worry. The one thing that ate up my study time just so I can find a proper extraction method/basis online. Dammit. I'm glad it's all doen now.

So, I had my mom pick up some new batteries for the slr because I left it open for 3 straight days. That wasn't the first time as well. I've left it open overnight a lot of times already. haha

By the way, I applied to join Images Philippines. I didn't think they'll accept me due to some nonexistent age-bias I presumed exist so I sort of dismissed it for awhile. I was just trying my luck and well, they accepted me. Pretty proud of that. It's not National Geographic but hey... it's Images Philippines. hahaha Visit here --> Click! Yay!

Well, I'm on devArt as of now. I passed some entries for the One Word Photo challenge. My submission for the JPG Magazine's debut (with the theme Origin) didn't get accepted by the way :p Well it was sort of rush. I tried to beat the deadline and passed a photo just for the sake of passing it. I passed one of my *perfectly* (at least the closest to perfect) proportional and balanced Haleakala sunrise photos. Well sunrises are the origin of each new day. It lacked concept and innovativeness... me thinks. Oh well, I have to prepare for this one. I doubt though that it'll be in time to get considered as extra credit for college admissions (US).

I HAVE TO HAVE A PUBLISHED PHOTO! hahahaha Just to impress and add points ;)

Damn it

Warning: Teenybopper crap approaching (starts at the 2nd paragraph). Sometimes, I have to indulge myself in these things, yknow.

I was about to blog and She Will Be Loved starts playing on TV. I don't get too hot about songs much but this... I love this song. The melody, the lyrics, the overall composition. Such a strong, emotive song (as to how I see it, at least). Many people might disagree with me though. I want to cry whenever I hear this song. Not because I can relate, not because I'm in a relationship (believe me, I won't be in one in the near future... haven't even been in one), not becaue I'm in love but because the song overcomes the "Appreciated" level and pierces right through your car. It just sounds so emotional, tragic and sad. And Kelly Preston is beautiful. The vocalist's voice is nice too and he sings well (goddermmit I forgot his name).

Now that the song's finished, I can go on ranting about what I came to rant about. (I can play that song a million times and I'd prolly won't get tired of it.... okay, maybe if I DO play it a million times I'd get tired. The marginal utility will eventually reach a negative value). GODDAMMIT! So, there's Top of the Pops' commercial on Myx (I don't know why it's the channel on my tv now) and from the synopsis of the latest episode I think McFly performed. And I missed it. They performed That Girl and I missed it. How in the world could I have missed it!? (Uhm... I forgot the showing time actually.) The big part is I missed the chance to see them (just Danny, actually) perform and missed Danny's solo. *shoots self*

Okay. There is now a "written" record of my liking (obsession?) for Danny of McFly. McFly is amusing. I first learned about them during my disturbing days as a Busted fan. Yes. My friends did laugh at me for liking them but what the hell. McFly has much more potential not to suck than Busted. Give them a few years and stop that whiny/high pitched voiced other guitarist from singing, then they'll possibly turn out to be a really good band. Not to forget musical maturation and progressing away from the usual there's-this-fit-girl-and-i-like-her type of songs (Come on! They have a song titled Broccoli! It's that bad.)

Everybody go download That Girl by McFly now, forward it to the second half of the song and wait for Danny's solo. Then you can choose to delete the file or keep it if you liked the song. They're not your pop punk band (which are the type of bands that that's springing up most of the time for these past years). Well they're pop with a lot of 60s influence. I swear I'm buying their album (Room on the 3rd floor) but the problem is they're selling none here.

This is Danny (if you care to see... I can foresee people criticizing my lack of taste...but really) ---> (1 2 3)
He sings good, is good at guitar, has nice hair and yeah... looks good. (I edited out the previous third photo because it was already too cheesy for me to bear.)

*sigh* This is probably one of those things I'll never forgive myself for doing. haha

Aww man, there goes teeny bopper AM again. (But he does look good! And I mentioned he sings good and is really talented at playing guitar! says AM's reasoning alter ego)

What I really came to blog about was just that I watched Out! for the first time a while ago. And that I also watched Imbestigador and thought I'd email them and ask them to take me during one of their episode shoots involving the state of poverty in the Philippines (preferably in the provinces... had enough of the city) so I could document it myself through pictures and just immerse myself in another kind of lifestyle.

Aha! I'll download McFly's album right now. Brilliant :D (Only thought of that now because I found out about a non-kazaa/BitTorrent downloading place that didn't require registration.)

CommonWEALTH?

The world can keep track of what I am up to through this blog. Who knows? They might easily be able to send to jail a potential suicide bomber? But the problem is, the world doesn't care. :D But on I blog anyway because writing is fun. Even writing about one's self. Not that it's all about self gratification but, this way, I can keep track of my thoughts and my plans. But why the need to broadcast it through a blog? I don't know, really. Maybe I'm just that addicted to the internet. It's fun to share too.

I haven't talked to Ayisse for a while but (hey, maybe you're reading this ;)) I want to ask her, and possibly Dixi, to collab on a possible novel titled "Blog Wars". Due to the blogging hype present for some years now, I decided that I want to write something that involved blogs or something in a blog format. It'd be a treat to people who like bloghopping... I guess it's just interesting to analyze different characters and personalities and a way to do that would be by writing while in that person's (no one in specific, the personality I mean) shoes.

Another thing I'm up to. I'm definitely asking Dixi or somebody to venture Commonwealth Ave. while taking photos at the same time. I've always wanted to take pictures of Manggahan Road, life in the wet markets, and poverty. I want to see if there are actually people who are satisfied with their lives... people who do not regret choices they've made no matter to what position in life those decisions brought them to. Who knows, I might send the compiled photos, have Dixi caption them and write something about it and we'll send it to a publisher. And if anybody else wants to join, then good. I'm not too sure though that Ayisse would want to go to Commonwealth since she thinks it's too far. :D

If anybody has suggestions... and I doubt anybody else is reading this thing except for the people I know... feel free to mail me at amlcortez[at]hotmail[.]com